It is officially over; I am back home from Japan. I arrived in Japan on June 10th; my language program ended on July 28th; and I returned home on July 9th. It was an incredible month of making new friends, exploring Japan, eating food, struggling to communicate, getting sick, managing my studies, and taking moments to enjoy life.
I am back now, and I cannot help but compare and contrast our two countries. Firstly, I can now appreciate living in a country with the official language being my first language, and I am happy to return to the conveniences of living in my house (not out of a suitcase). I am definitely going to miss the convenience of being able to walk and use public transportation. Also, with the conversion rate of USD to Yen being $1 to ¥160, the affordability of local foods was amazing… As long as you don’t try to buy grapes or cantaloupe, fruit is not affordable in Japan.
I had a lot of fun on this trip. Unfortunately, I cannot vacation forever—I have responsibilities and a waistline to manage—but I am taking with me new knowledge and friendships.
Now that I am back, I will be prioritizing all of the essential preparation for my upcoming fall semester. I need to reestablish a few habits and tie up any loose ends. I will finish as many projects as possible and prepare to move. Going back to an old idea, I am going to line up my next steps to allow me to have a limited number of priorities. It might seem contradictory, but doing less correctly can be much more than overloading. I have not tried it, but I think my downfall last semester was overloading myself with things that I did not want to do. There are many projects that excite me, and those are the ones that I might overload myself with. However, I do not wish to push myself as hard as I had for as long as I previously had. With so little time to take care of myself, I was unable to sustain that lifestyle. The effects were appearing in my daily energy levels, decreasing control over my diet, and the corrosion of my mindset. Even now, I am left with recurring anxiety. I did not go to war, but I feel like I developed a form of PTSD as a result of the chronic stress. I am fine. I just need to get into a stable routine with some form of balance. I am working on that now.
For the rest of this post today, I want to talk about dating. This is a subject that I do not think I have spoken much about. To be fully transparent, it is not something that I know much about. It really isn’t something that I know anything about. I have spent most of my life being overweight and insecure, so only recently have I been seriously open to finding a girlfriend. While in Japan, I made the decision to download a dating app. I feel like I have to defend that last sentence, but I just want to share my opinions. I think dating apps are very superficial, and many are businesses that prey on the loneliness of single people for profit. Having said that, I also think that online dating offers a simplified and accelerated medium through which two lonely people can find a relationship. My experience is limited to Bumble. Additionally, I have only used the app in Japan. Without a doubt, dating apps can be the most superficial platforms that exist today. They are very artificial and, in many ways, dystopian and inhuman. Again, conversely, I believe that many “traditional” forms of hooking up or meeting people are subject to many of the same flaws without the convenience that online dating is expert.
For most guys and girls, there exists a very limited population of partners when interacting exclusively face-to-face. Opportunities to meet new people are limited, and a dozen barriers exist between two strangers. First, the two people must have a reason to talk—an introduction. Hundreds of potential partners might walk next to me, but most of them do not even see my face, let alone get to know my name. Then there are the circumstantial boundaries, such as individual responsibilities and life events. Maybe two people are perfect for one another, but one has the priority of school, so the timing ruins the spark. Or maybe they are already in a relationship at the time, and interactions are limited. Then the two people, in addition to being interested in one another, must both be looking for a relationship. Finally, we get to the dreaded friend zone. Two people can get along very well, but transitioning from friend to dating—especially when one of the above is unknown—is both risky and challenging to navigate.
What online dating does is allow people to skip past many of these boundaries and start conversations with people that they know are interested in a relationship. Like anything convenient or easier, online dating has its caveats, but there is a superior effectiveness that can be utilized when used strategically. At the end of the day, I think it is just another tool—although sharp objects are dangerous and can be used for the wrong reasons, preparing dinner without a knife is challenging. The real question is whether the same dinner can be made with or without a knife. It is possible that the convenience of the knife produces an unsavory meal or one that is unappreciated. In many ways, the effort put into the process can be valued more than the product itself. A relationship that has taken years to develop naturally will have something that a match on Bumble lacks. Is this something valuable or an ideal that exists as a relic of old traditions? I do not think that the lonely boy cares. I believe that most relationships are a net positive, so let’s play the game that gets us to dinner! No?
That’s all I have for this week. I will keep you updated… or something like that. Japan is new and old. A wonderful adventure! That is all I have for this week. This has been Tristan, the one and only. Bye!