Author: Tristan

When was the last time you reinvented yourself? I feel like I have been every week recently. Just look at this blog! This is amazing!

Today I want to ponder this concept of self-improvement. Yes, that dreaded word… This is a safe place. You do not have to worry.

I have put too much thought into myself recently. I am bordering on being self-obsessed. It is very intriguing to reflect on a previous version of me. For me, it is almost like I am viewing a character independent of myself. This is how I perceive the changes that I have made. The separations, the distinctions, between who I am now and the person I was is not very significant on paper. As much as I feel like I live with different skin, I am ultimately the same person–cue Theseus’s ship paradox–at least at my core, at least legally, at least the linear progression of time deceives me to believe that facts from the past translate to the present. The person I was only exists in the present as an abstract of memoirs. There is no physical attachment that I have to my past self. I am a consequence of his actions, but I am something new, further-developed–reinvented.

I want to be able to adapt and improve toward my ultimate potential, but every day I risk slipping and falling into a complacency-potential loop: when a person repeats actions that produce a state of dissatisfaction but they are too complacent to improve, not limited by potential or situation. Term coined! I joke, I jest.

To think about how fast this process of “updating software” can happen is truly scary. The ability of the mind to bend in one interaction, one word. This is something so very dangerous yet we would not be able to mature and improve without this freedom to adapt. I recognize this as dangerous because I have observed so many people who have been caught in a loop. A loop where their thoughts do not improve but stagnate or worse, regress. It is inevitable that we will all peak one day. We are simply mortal, but the scariest reality is one where someone does not live up to their potential; this is especially sad when someone has the ambition to. To see someone honestly fail is heartbreaking. To see myself fall into this indefinite loop would break my spirit, but like I said, the mind adapts. Me of tomorrow (whatever that may mean) might have already adapted in anticipation of this failure or have conceded to it.

I do not have the life experience or knowledge of the mind’s mechanisms to gauge the fine line between self-improvement and self-sabotage. Am I building a framework for a bright future or am I lighting the fuse toward dysmorphia and dissatisfaction? When does ambition become too much? On the opposite end of the same spectrum, there is also an extremely fine line between self acceptance and ignorance. Is this not inherently worse? We can continue this another day.

Today I want to congratulate myself a little bit. What is cause for celebration?–I am not the same person I was a week ago, and next week will be better! This is my philosophy for self-reinvention: (Adjusted for situation–realistic, not perceived) a person should create an environment both physically and mentally that reflects their ambition and regularly be able to flexibly adapt to new information and resources to discover areas of improvement. Many people are in deplorable situations. There are too many circumstances to even list a few. Although this is something I genuinely acknowledge it is ultimately irrelevant here (assuming there are no minimum inputs required to even begin this process. Regardless, this would be an extreme minority of people). The past is irrelevant to this philosophy. The improvement that I believe we must seek is relative to what we have access to achieve. Not only is this true physically but mentally too. While the mind is fickle, it can be structured and improved through discipline, knowledge, and accomplishment. This, like any other important facet of one’s life, takes time to appropriately structure. “Don’t quit before the world has a moment to notice.” Put that on your wall!

Now I am not trying to be some kind of guru in the subject of self-improvement. I am only explaining what I believe to be helpful. This is what I have discovered so far. I am on my own journey–like everyone is in life. To say I have my life figured out would be misleading at best. I have many hurdles to overcome to achieve the goals I have set for myself. The life of reinvention and self-improvement is rocky; it is for me at least. Knowing that this battle is both never ending and timeless is ironically reassuring. Being put into an environment and given tools that previous generations could not conceive is a mighty privilege but also a challenge. I mentioned potential a few times previously. What do you all believe? Do you think that someone’s potential is more or less prescribed at birth? Is it equitable to give everyone the same potential, knowing that we have unique origins? Is it fair on the other hand to even expect or compare the action of one to another, knowing that we have unique minds? Maybe there is some form of equation that can be formulated to calculate effective personal growth. I have been ruminating over the selfish benefits from reinvention, but a society of individuals that care enough to be better individuals might be more prone to developing their communities. Is this not an argument for maximizing potential–the betterment of society?

Hopefully I am not posing too many questions. I am only curious myself. This is an area of so much complexity because it both interferes with the individual and the societies we live in. I am thinking of it like this: say you want to be a movie star and have always had dreams of being famous. Now for most people, the initial motivation for being famous is self-serving–”I would have a lot of money” or “I would gain so much reputation and prestige.” Now think of all of the lives that would be affected by that movie. Once they have worked to achieve their dream, think of the greater effect that someone in that position can have even if they do not try. Obviously, we can not all be movie stars; some of us will be teachers and others chefs. In my opinion, it is crucial that we fill the role that we are each individually inspired to pursue and that we do it to our utmost. This can be our destiny and where we make the most of our perfect personal potential.

This is where I have to call it for this week. I might come back to some of these thoughts later, but I will let them steep on your mind for some time. What is next week? You will just have to wait and see! My best from HQ. Till next week!

This is the first post on my blog! Isn’t this an exciting occasion?

Why do I care? You might ask.

Because I compel you to, because you will go on a journey with me, because you will be taking part in magnificence! This is a place where the concept is as limitless as the matterful folds of my mind can conjure. The mysteries of life, the oddities that inspire thought, the poetry that weaves the fabric of ominous thought and beautiful creation simultaneously, synchronously with the soul. I got carried away there.

A little more about me: I am a boy from central Texas. I am injecting my personality to make this a genuine, personal passion-project. I want you to learn more about me while we discover more about our separate minds, how they are linked, and everything between and outside. Ambitious, you bet I am, but this is fun for me. We will have fun here. Take a seat and ride the coaster as the sun rises on tristm and Tristan the individual alike. Or are they different? I juxtapose and I jest… until the never-ending expires.

Okay, I have hopefully at least acquired a few peoples interest by this point; although, is it not sad to think that the majority of readers will never see past these lines?

By now, I suppose you have gotten a taste of my writing style. Expect this as I intend this place to be a free creative domain where I can let loose. In addition to this “free creative writing,” I expect to do some more analytical posts. Maybe, if I am feeling exceptionally spunky, I will draft a cooking recipe. I really do love food. More on that later though. Also, Let this place also be a notification board for my YouTube channel and other projects directly correlated to this blog. I suppose this is becoming my blog’s mission statement.

While on the topic of Youtube, many of these posts will be material for videos. Any future supporter brave enough to endure that which is me on two platforms, I salute to you. I am also a student, 20 at the time of beginning this, I have many places that I want to explore, and I have many things to learn. As I said, learn and grow with me. This will be fun.

Now that you know a little bit about me and my aspirations for this website, I guess this is the best time to pose the question of the week. What is the question of the week all about?– Something I just thought of and decided to write.

I do not know if this will remain consistent, but here it is today: Do you surrender or fight to the death?

Let me set the scene: you are a peasant of a tyrannical lord. You are given the option to surrender your remaining life to being a slave or in this moment, fight. With both choices, you will die–either after many adverse, deplorable years as a slave or free in seconds of an intense, electrifying battle–understood? I will give you some time, and you can then read my justification.

Here I go: My first thoughts of being a slave is that at least I will have the opportunity to experience some more of my life regardless of its misery. I can embrace the hopes of finding some kind of nirvana through my horrible circumstances, and while it would mean nothing in this hypothetical world, I would have the freedom of my mind. Given years of mental toughening, I believe that I could develop a form of enlightenment, and at worst rely on my human nature to relinquish myself to the divine unknown. On the other hand, I would fear how callused my mind would become with no outlet or ambition for the future. If I had previously lived the humble life of a lowly peasant prior to this incident, maybe I could suppress ambitious thoughts, but being as educated as I am, this reality would be at its worst pure agony knowing that nothing would change or ever improve. I think this speaks to my own personal insecurities, but I will not pry on that thought too long. If I think back to a version of myself before I saw the world for what it is now (we will leave that for another day), my best guess is that I would be submissive and comply to any master’s demands for the courage to face immediate death is not a part of my innate nature. The more I think about this, the more I am observing my own conscience development. This question speaks to what a person lives for–life for experience or life for meaning. There is a nobility in fighting for what you believe even though that decision is rash and illogical by nature. Something about sacrificing our most valuable resource–our lifespan–for a moral, need it not be just, is at the least respectable. To surrender is correlated with cowardliness and weak willed determination although it is ultimately the greater hardship to bear both because in this hypothetical we only live in anticipation of death and because we must remain conscious of our decision, an effect that only plagues the living–regret.

In consideration of this, I would have to say that I would want to fight for whatever it means–to be called brave, to die with “honor,” to live through the memory of my motivations and not daily anguish. This is a difficult decision for me but I think that ultimately I would not want to live for only myself. I need goals, other people, hope… so there would be no purpose of living my life without these necessities.

That’s my take and what I’ve got for this week. We are doing this every Monday, so just do not miss me too much on Sundays. I really do hope that the few or the many that stumble upon my sliver of the internet, that you are at least entertained if not at all edified by the words I write. Meaning is yours.

Contact me with any questions or concerns! I’ll hold my breath for any of you. Best wishes from all of me here at the tristm HQ. Till next week!