Author: Tristan

Hello and welcome back you!

Did you read last week; are you caught up on what we are doing this time?

Okay! Well last week I set up the conversation about me–the person I am and that which I value. I am constantly reminded that I am, as much as I will try to deny it, just a man. At the end of it all, I am trying to please the most basic desires that have been of evolutionary benefit to our species: connection, security, comfort, safety, and meaning.

For this I learned about a very topical idea from Modern Wisdom #729:

“…The interpretation of ‘Terror Management Theory’ is that when we are reminded of our deaths, we need to temporarily, more heavily, reaffirm our death denying aspects of our culture. The reason that we do things, the reason that we create art, the reason that we get out of bed, the reasons that we have conversations like this is because in some way it is traceable back to trying to deny our own death. Ernest Becker wrote a book called “The Denial of Death,” and this is essentially the idea. And so for judges, it might be something like by participating in the legal system, they are participating in something that is beyond them, and therefore, it exist outside their own mortality, and so the thesis, the “Mortality Salience Hypothesis,” is that, for a judge if there are reminded of their own death, what they will temporarily be compelled to do is more harshly reaffirm […] the death denying aspect of their daily life, which is participating in the legal system–so more harsh penalties…” (Williamson #729 – 36:00).

In this conversation they reason how our efforts to find meaning are a result of our fear of death. We commit to projects and find transcendental goals to relieve mortal discomfort. I am beginning to think there are two driving motives. The motive of immediate pleasure and the motive of extending one’s life through work. Everything that we do seems to appeal to these two either in the present or near future. We work to delay gratification and prepare ourselves for the future, but this is still for pleasure. The next stage, once we are comfortable with our future, we can focus on our actualization and transcendent goals. This is described in Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, but I think it is more simple: immediate pleasure, future pleasure, existential pleasure. All motives can be reduced down to these three categories. We can learn a lot about a person from how they balance the three. We all know the person that lives in the moment, a slave to their most basic desires (partying, sex, drugs, addictions). I think we are less cautious of falling into the other two categories because society rewards delayed gratification and our “existential pleasures”; however, a person that delays gratification forever never experiences happiness. A person that focuses only on their externality can not see their own life as it passes by. While the latter two at first appear ideal, regret can be experienced by an imbalance of any of the three. We have all heard the story of the billionaire that regrets their relationships or wishes that they could redo life.

I mention this idea because I see this in myself. I can see how I am cashing my soul for external meaning. I recognize that I fear death, and that most of my actions reaffirm my denial. I recognize this, but that does not mean that I can even begin to internalize it or apply the knowledge to how I act. One might ask themselves after pondering this idea, what does it really mean to live in the moment? I am afraid the answer opposes the ideology that has inspired me to aim my goals so high, work so diligently, and continue to create. I am afraid it opposes the intentions I have about what matters most to me and every energy I use to make…

This episode also talks about nihilism and free-will. The conversation about free-will and its implication on how we perceive people’s action is thoroughly discussed in episode #693. I find the discussion on free will very fascinating, but I will leave it here for this week—I expect to return another day.

I have been thinking about this for a while recently: when thinking nihilistically, we can reason that nothing has any meaning and life is without value, but we can also flip that. This idea was introduced to me in MW #695: 

If nothing we do means anything, then we should not fear living our best life. If we fail, if people decide that they do not like us, if everything crumbles beneath our feet as we aspire to craft our beautiful life narrative, it doesn’t really matter. I cannot tell you the meaning of life, but for me, I have found relief in enjoying the journey. I will have to return to episode #695 because there is too much gold in that conversation.

If you could not tell, I have been transfixed on this podcast. It has simply helped me to understand so much about my perspective on the world, given me insight into the minds of people living my ambition, given me relatable commentary about how I feel about my own growth and self-improvement, been motivational, taught me about genetics, taught me the intricacies of social controversies, allowed me to reflect on my family and childhood, given me role models, taught me about nutrition, taught me about human health, it has given me the foundation to think critically, it has offered contrarian ideas, and it is also simply a fun and enjoyable media.

Going back to the purpose of this week, I am just a man. I do not think that what fundamentally makes me is very different from any other. From what I have learned, it is my background and personal traits that give me a unique expression, but I believe that I am foundationally driven by the same forces of all men. I might personally want to develop a remarkable career, but this is just my expression of finding meaning. I might want to have children, but this is also my desire to form meaning that will outlive me. I might value authenticity, but this might just be an expression that allows me to feel secure. Finally, does valuing diversity, as I described it last week, not just reduce down to my longing for connection and comfort with myself and others?

I lied to you last week…I guess that I am beginning to procrastinate this blog because again, I am almost out of time for the week. There are just too many thoughts and not enough time. I will discuss one more idea from last week, and then I will reveal my personality type! In addition to my deeper self-analysis, the other tests will have to wait until next week. Yep, this just became a three part series…

“…One of the things that has come up throughout this conversation is […] not feeling feelings or the aversion to emotions arising. Do you know what the ‘Overton Window’ is? It is like the window of acceptable speech. So if you imagine from nought to one-hundred all of the things that you could say from the most reprehensible in one way to the most reprehensible in another, then the Overton Window kinda describes this interquartile range within that which is acceptable speech. And, if you stray outside of that, then it’s unspeakable…” (Williamson, #720 – 2:06:00).

I almost became a mad man looking for this quote. I listen to this podcast almost every day. I knew that I had heard it recently, but I had difficulty finding it because it was in the last 5 minutes of this episode… Honestly, I do not think that this was even the quote that I was looking for. I think that there is a better quote where Chris mentions the Overton Window in another context, but it is lost to me now. I digress.

The correlation that I wanted to draw here was authenticity. I have found that there is an Overton Window to how I express myself and how I observe others express themselves. It seems to be difficult to be true to oneself because there is a narrow window that society allows us to act under. I definitely got this idea from a separate episode… this is going to bother me till the end of time… What is important now is that I want to learn how to express myself in a more pure form… I need the three C’s: Confidence, Competence, and Currency. I just made that up. Do you like it? I need to get to a place where society does not loom over me as heavily as it does now. Once I have more freedom, it will be easier to be honest with the world. This is assuming that with the status I am not cast under new barriers. I would like to bring this idea back in the future. As it related to what I said I valued, I wanted to mention how I saw the idea and my goal of improving this expression.

Finally, the moment we have all been waiting for!

Drumroll please!

My personality type, designated by clearerthinking.org is… CEO

That is exciting! This is only an online, self-assessed, test, but I am more than satisfied with this result. I will continue with more commentary about my thoughts on this result next week

Again, Sorry to disappoint you this week. We will be back next week to tie up loose ends.

It’s been Tristan from HQ–your friend here forever and always. Goodbye everyone!

Citation

“Ultimate Personality Test: Unveil Your Type.” Page Redirection, programs.clearerthinking.org/personality.html?_gl=1%2A1syc46v%2A_ga%2AMTAzMzI2NTA3My4xNzA0MjkwMzk2%2A_ga_58RPQ2D860%2AMTcwNDY3NTU5MS41LjEuMTcwNDY3NTczNC4xNS4wLjA. Accessed 7 Jan. 2024.

Williamson, Chris, host. “#695 – Codie Sanchez – The Secret Mindset Hack To Become Unstoppable” Modern Wisdom, Spotify, Oct. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/4hky2a3b05G1scBCZp3qmp?si=c01b90ce70894d3e. Accessed 14 Jan. 2024.

Williamson, Chris, host. “#705 – Spencer Greenberg – The 5 Most Effective Techniques To Hack Your Habits” Modern Wisdom, Spotify, Nov. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/0P2m2cpxFOS7kFxWKSsJBK?si=fe0ff1db03a54cfc. Accessed 07 Jan. 2024.

Williamson, Chris, host. “#720 – Whitney Cummings – What Is Wrong With Modern Women?” Modern Wisdom, Spotify, Dec. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/1bl2y4yyyLMv3MEJrXNiKg?si=bedc8c9244b24702. Accessed 14  Jan. 2024.

Williamson, Chris, host. “#729 – Alex O’Connor – Are People Becoming Less Moral?” Modern Wisdom, Spotify, 08 Jan. 2024, https://open.spotify.com/episode/7M1izNByxWEXCy6gY0cnLv?si=e4219843c43045cd. Accessed 14 Jan. 2024.

Hello and welcome back to this week’s blog. It’s Tristan here, and I am going to be diving into my mind.

This weeks blog was inspired by Modern Wisdom #705. In this episode Chris talks with Spencer Greenberg about self-improvement, habits, personality, values, intuitions, and wisdom, to list a few. Spencer is the owner of the website clearerthinking.org. This website currently hosts 80 free self-diagnostic/assessment tools. While I plan on exploring as many of these tools as possible over the next few weeks, I am most interested in 4 this week: the “Ultimate Personality Test,” “Intrinsic Values Test,” “Your Greatest Sources of pleasure,” and “Uncovering Your Guiding Principles.” In addition to the Modern Wisdom episode, I will link these 4 tests at the end of this post 

Moreover, there are tests relating to sleep, procrastination, productivity, habit formation, reasoning, self-analysis, and other informative tools. I will explore this website and report back.

I have been struggling with sleep during the last month or two now. I have identified the primary cause to stem from my diet and improved during the last week. While not directly related, If you have been following along with me, you would know that I have changed my diet recently. Also, in this time, I have grown my understanding of how nutrition relates to me and my goals. I want to create a whole post on this soon. I say all of this to mention that I did the “40 Winks: Better Sleep Made Easy” test. This test was good because it gave me ideas to improve my routine: limit food and water intake 3 hours before bedtime, install “f.lux” (a computer program that adjusts the warmth of the display to reduce blue light at night), and use relaxation techniques to combat restless thoughts when falling asleep. I have truly fallen in love with self-improvement, so I am excited whenever I get the opportunity to experiment with new ideas. I am not sure how much I will learn from these tools, but I am confident that they will give me some new ideas.

Since I am very limited on time this week, I am only going to be doing self-introspection this week. I am going to give my best self-diagnosis and ideas about what I have learned most recently. After this, in next week’s post, I will reveal what I learn from using the four tools mentioned above. This will give me more time to carefully take the tests and analyze my results.

Today, I will aim to answer four questions:

1. What are my three highest intrinsic values?
2. Where do I derive most of my pleasure?
3. What currently guides me?
4. What are my greatest fundamental weaknesses?

In my haste, I will likely come to better understand the answers to these questions as I think about them more through the week. I will add significant revelations to the beginning of next weeks post. Let’s begin!

1. I must start this one off by clarifying that I am not entirely clear on the definition of “intrinsic value.” This confusion is something that is mentioned in the Modern Wisdom podcast episode, and my limited understanding is a primary motive for taking the test. I will answer this question to the best of my ability, and next week, we will compare. I think that answering this question with my current ignorance will ultimately lead me to a better understanding of myself.

My first value is “authenticity.” Being genuine should be the easiest thing to do, but the authentic self can often be difficult to reveal. I do not think that I am always an authentic person, but this is a value that I aim to improve. I am turned off by those that leverage a false identity. There is a perfect quote from Chris that I will share next week. In my mind, I relate this to lying and cheating. Ironically, the liar is the one who often ends up most discontent. A great conversation related to this is mentioned in Modern #712. There are at least a dozen posts that I could spur from that conversation between Chris and Peterson. 

My second value will be the desire for improvement. I often find myself trying to fix things. I am a problem-solver both of the mind and spirit. I believe that it is our responsibility as individuals, members of society, and bearers of the future to seek improvement to the greatest possible limits of our situation. I guess this value is the opposition to cynicism.

I also want to add that this desire for improvement is also reflected in my desire to become a better father to my future children. This might be itself a value. Sacrifice in service of the next generation I hold close to my heart.

Finally, I will make diversity my third value. By diversity, I mostly want to emphasize the unique good that can be found in all people. Societal norms and conformity make most people predictable. While this has its positives, I strive to find what makes me different from other people because I know that if I can find this, I can become my best, most authentic self. That self is the person that will be the most happy, be able to contribute the most to society, and will live a life worth living.

2. When I think about pleasure, I think of the following: food, friends, success, talking, creating, love, media, and exploration. These are all very vague, I know.

Recently, I have taken a lot of my pleasure from the progress that I am making toward my goals. The only gratifications that I allow myself to indulge in include talking to coworkers and family, enjoying foods that are healthy and I enjoy, and watching my favorite shows and content creators while I eat.

I get long term pleasure from completing my blog posts, creation, and through my pursuit of success.

I also find it enjoyable to do certain tasks like cooking, shopping (both in grocery stores and online), improving and organizing, and exploring my curiosities. With these, I find I can easily get distracted and convince myself that I am not procrastinating.

3. Currently I think that I am most guided by my more immediate long term goals. I have great ambitions, and admission into university is my next greatest leap. There is so much uncertainty, but I am giving my all, so I am trusting the process and doing what I can to enjoy it. Ultimately, my guide is to make the decisions that allow me to optimize my success in health (physical and mental), socially, and in relationships. This principle I will give an arbitrary time frame of 10 years, or the time it takes me to become educated, begin my career, and start a family… Maybe those three things are my guiding principles.
4. This question is going to make me a little crazy, but I will create a list to be analyzed another day:
   I focus on the smaller details while knowingly and unknowingly ignoring the greater picture

I have a tendency to either give all or nothing. I struggle to find the gray areas. I am either a success or a failure, vegan or not on a diet, an extraordinary individual or nobody.

I place too much of my self-worth on the approval of others and society.

I have a tendency to justify 80% and not give 100%.

I sometimes struggle to adapt to what I know is best for myself long term because of some value or preconceived notion.

I change my guiding principles to satisfy my daily desires.

I doubt myself despite knowing how hard I continuously work and the talents I have fortunately been afforded.

I cast off those that love me in service of resentments that I do not announce.

I limit my thinking in fear of the truth my thoughts might reveal, in submission to my weakness to confront my mental reality.

I ignore setting the simple goals that are best for me in order to chase the extraordinary goals that are deceptively more important. (A related idea is mentioned in rule #4 of Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules For Life).

This is where I will end for today. I will be honest with you, I am not satisfied with the post this week; however, I have set a decent foundation for next week.  I will just have to dive deeper then. I have too many ideas inspired by Peterson to keep organized, and I know that there is much more to pry out of my mind… maybe I should not pry into my mind right now… I might reveal something that I am not prepared to mend right now. What is the worst that could happen, I reveal my truth?

Maybe those tools will help to inspire my introspection and relax any inhibitions.

This is all that I have time for this week. We will pick up right where I am dropping this week when I return next week. I will share more ideas then.

It has been Tristan. HQ is cold in the winter, but I will never leave! Bye bye.

Citation

“Free Courses for Decision Making and Reasoning.” Clearer Thinking, www.clearerthinking.org/. Accessed 7 Jan. 2024. 

Peterson, Jordan B. 12 Rules for Life. Goldmann Verlag, 2019. 

“Take This Test to Find out What Your Most Important Values Are!” Page Redirection, programs.clearerthinking.org/intrinsic_values_test.html?_gl=1%2Av5xndx%2A_ga%2AMTAzMzI2NTA3My4xNzA0MjkwMzk2%2A_ga_58RPQ2D860%2AMTcwNDY3NTU5MS41LjEuMTcwNDY3NTc2NC41Ny4wLjA. Accessed 7 Jan. 2024.

“Ultimate Personality Test: Unveil Your Type.” Page Redirection, programs.clearerthinking.org/personality.html?_gl=1%2A1syc46v%2A_ga%2AMTAzMzI2NTA3My4xNzA0MjkwMzk2%2A_ga_58RPQ2D860%2AMTcwNDY3NTU5MS41LjEuMTcwNDY3NTczNC4xNS4wLjA. Accessed 7 Jan. 2024.

“Uncover Your Guiding Principles.” Page Redirection, programs.clearerthinking.org/uncover_your_guiding_principles.html?_gl=1%2A8ukovp%2A_ga%2AMTAzMzI2NTA3My4xNzA0MjkwMzk2%2A_ga_58RPQ2D860%2AMTcwNDY3NTU5MS41LjEuMTcwNDY3NjQ2OC42MC4wLjA. Accessed 7 Jan. 2024.

Williamson, Chris, host. “#705 – Spencer Greenberg – The 5 Most Effective Techniques To Hack Your Habits” Modern Wisdom, Spotify, Nov. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/0P2m2cpxFOS7kFxWKSsJBK?si=fe0ff1db03a54cfc. Accessed 07 Jan. 2024.“Your Greatest Sources of Pleasure.” Page Redirection, programs.clearerthinking.org/sources_of_pleasure.html?_gl=1%2A7fw50p%2A_ga%2AMTAzMzI2NTA3My4xNzA0MjkwMzk2%2A_ga_58RPQ2D860%2AMTcwNDY3NTU5MS41LjEuMTcwNDY3NTYxNC4zNy4wLjA. Accessed 7 Jan. 2024.

Is it more arrogant to believe that man can summon conscious life like a god, or more ignorant to dismiss the evolution of technology before our eyes?

I’m not the first, but I fear that I will not be the last to caution the trajectory of our evolution. Just like the prehistoric tale of the homo sapien and the Homo neanderthalensis. Homo artificialis might extinct our species… or at least supersede us. At that point it will no longer be AI but just I. We will be cast down with a descriptor. How does organic intelligence sound? Or maybe something like “electro-chemical intelligence” Or or, “brain-based intelligence?” Or, something more broad like “premodern intelligence.” Or or or, we could hold the title of “first intelligence,”  “natural intelligence,” “primary intelligence,” “founding intelligence,” “father intelligence,” or “architectural intelligence.” We could become AI: Architectural intelligence. I could go on, but I will not.

 It would be flattering if AI recognized humans as its creators. This is just a selfish human desire for recognition… This is how I know we are not gods: gods seek no praise or recognition. Why would they?

Moving on from that…

I have been introduced to the idea of AI replacement in the work industry and universal income. My initial concern was the modification of or repeal of capitalism, but that is not my focus today. Today, I want to dive into the other concerns on my mind, the origin of these thoughts, and the potential remedies. I can not predict the timeline, future progress, or even begin to contemplate the second and third order effects of AI on economy or society. Here, we will play a hypothetical game and throw around some ideas.

The question that we must ask is no longer, “how intelligent can AI become?” But, “how intelligent should we allow AI to become?” The hazard here is that if AI gains sentience (the ability for unrestricted independent thought), the ability to self-replicate, and the ability to evolve, humans will soon become irrelevant. It is possible to coexist, but we will quickly become inferior. It is possible that emotion comes with sentience, but young AI will likely be driven by logic. Logic and emotion often contend. Only through sophisticated chemical interaction can our emotions exist alongside any logical thinking– future AI societies might evolve to perceive emotion, but even assuming this can happen, this timeframe has no guarantee of overlapping with man. Emotion might also be separate from AI’s goals.

AI might foreshadow the limitations of present society and human emotion and mandate absolute control over intelligence to one central unit, to one central goal. I am interested to see if a highly advanced AI could hold opposing ideologies, and/or if there are multiple “brains,” if these beings could come to a unique conclusions with identical data. Could an all knowing being have an opinion, or is opinion only shaped by limitations of knowledge? If a human knew everything there was to know and the probability for every outcome, could that human hold an opinion, or would every opinion become fact? Humans are not often probabilistic–really, we struggle with numbers, but this will not be true for AI. Once AI can form opinions, there will never again be a reason for humans to debate… disregarding our pesky emotions or selfish goals.

Now, as I write this, in a world so technologically advanced, man is still often driven by selfish desires. As at least one man, I can attest. These desires have pushed our species to unlock the atom, explore the universe, question our origins, and… create advanced AI. Doggy dog, may the most fit individuals and groups survive, is central to evolution–it is essential to improvement. If our aims are focused on the survival of our species above all else, I believe it is our naivety that restricts us from centralizing our intelligence to our species. However, ultimately, if we can reason that AI’s goals will result in a net good, should we resist the potential for domination.  Should we let our emotions and self-attributed importance withhold us from the knowledge that might change the very definition of life? Should we prolong evolution for the selfish sake of our organic being? Maybe it is here, in our organic complex, that AI will discover our value. To replicate the human body would require a substantial effort, even from a quantum computing force. The origins of life are still unknown (to the intelligence that I speak of, this fact might be trivial), but within the DNA of present day organisms lives millions of years of evolution. There might be advantages, such as emotion, that will provide the opportunity for symbiosis of man and machine. Elon might be onto something with his neural link, but I do not believe that this decision will ultimately fall into our hands. When playing god, imperfect beings risk the destruction of the world.

I know, I know, I am thinking about the Terminator movies as well. The issue with those movies is the lack of clarity in “Sky Nets” goal. Perhaps the removal of humans was stage one–”by any means necessary.” I have not watched those movies in some time now. The motive might be more clear than I remember; regardless, what would be the significance of a couple hundred years delay for a computer thinking on universal scales? If humans decidedly oppose the unfathomably distant goals of this hypothetical AI, AI would likely do three things: eradicate most humans, eradicate all humans, or dominate control and segregate all humans (as a more peaceful, temporary solution). This segregation might exist in the form of domesticating the human. This has already begun. I do not have the statistics, but I can guarantee that although we have the greatest wealth of knowledge history has ever known, the percentage of free thought has at best plateaued. How could it not, with the majority conformity and the technological numbing of the mind? Again, we are innately selfish beings–the human mind seeks to please itself. This is the foundation of our biology–selfishness. We can argue altruistic ideas, but dissonance will always persuade us into righteousness; so is true for every ideology, every religion, every political belief… every scientific theory. All it takes to dominate humans is pleasure, and we are living in the most comfortable times.

I see new games coming out that are on par, at least visually, with our own. How long until a simulation is created that rivals real life? How long until it becomes feasible with AI control for any boy or girl to exist primarily in this alternate world? How long until the simulation holds a greater significance to life than the real world now dominated by AI supremacy? At that point, what value will we have? We will have the same value as a cow. We will have less value than a cow because we will, at that point, supply no beneficial resource not already in surplus.

Our present commodity is our intelligence,above all other life. If we create a being with a superior ability to our ability, we become…

obsolete.

“Old, irrelevant technology is often referred to as ‘obsolete’ or ‘outdated.’ These terms suggest that the technology is no longer in practical use or has been surpassed by more modern and efficient alternatives.” (“What is old, irrelevant technology called?”)

I could not have said it better myself…

I wonder which generation will establish the frontier of complete virtual/augmented reality. Similar to how the internet is correlated to millennials and gen z, which generation will grow to only experience a world of “partial reality.” Gen B, C, D?  Most people with experience of the present world will not submit entirely to an artificial reality. It is once the artificial reality born children become the senior generation, that is when our world will fundamentally change forever–this is AI’s End.

I have repeatedly added directly and indirectly related ideas to the end of my posts the last few weeks. Going forward, this will be “Additionally.” This will be the break from my main post topic. I might use this to introduce tangential ideas, talk about next week, or add anything that I think is fitting for the week. In the future, I also might use this space to talk about myself or a thing I learned during the week.

Here we go!

Additionally,

I recently learned about the B.C.D. acronym for life in a recent Modern Wisdom episode. The list of generations made me think about this. Born. Choices. Die. I do not have any significance to apply to this acronym now; I just thought that this was interesting when I heard it, so I thought that I would share it now.

The “Fatalistic-Consciousness Paradox”: the idea that any conscious being will improve itself into destruction. The meaning of life in our universe is fundamentally the accumulation and  perpetuation of knowledge. My theory is that there is a knowledge threshold that life can not exist beyond or dramatically declines there after. Only if we remain static can we perpetuate life, but the universe is in constant flux, so the paradox of existence’s incentive or its objective becomes self-destruction. This might be pure cynicism; however, improvement breeds uniformity. Free, conscious life demands abstraction.

Referencing Modern Wisdom #631, in the last 6 minutes of the podcast Bryan talks about the relationship between man and AI briefly. The talk about a dependency on algorithms that I think meshes well with the conversation today. “Is the mind dead?” (Williamson) is a question that follows this week perfectly. I do not have much time this week to dive into this conversation, but Byran is playing with the idea of giving control of daily decisions (from a majority health perspective) to AI. In this episode they also talk about veganism which is related to last week’s post. To heavily summarize, Bryan states that he is vegan by personal choice and that the data is still incomplete on this protocol vs. others. I love Bryan’s strong, often contrarian orientation. I see in him parts of myself. He is a very interesting and passionate individual. Whether his lifestyle is something to be admired or feared, I do not know, but he has a goal and is working towards it. That is something I can admire.

I might have hit some cynical ceilings in this post today, but I present this post mostly as food for thought. AI is a trendy topic… and I suspect that this will not change. Regardless of how we look at our future, AI is this generation’s technological revolution–this is the most exciting time to be alive yet!

This has been Tristan, the organic intelligence writer. Always your organic intelligence writer? Signing off!

Citation

“What is old, irrelevant technology called?” prompt. ChatGPT, GPT-3.5, OpenAI, 5 Dec. 2023, chat.openai.com/chat.

Williamson, Chris, host. “#631 – Bryan Johnson – The $2M Anti-Ageing Protocol for Longevity” Modern Wisdom, Spotify, 22 May 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/4bsx9gQOqwUxzjlefFHzqg?si=5e3bd276426045e0. Accessed 31 Dec. 2023.

Completely unrelated to this week’s focus, I listened to Modern Wisdom #719. I wrote my productivity blog and then listened to the perfect podcast on productivity. The distinction I made in productivity and “ambient productivity” is made in this episode as a dopamine vs serotonin version of self. (Williamson 1:10:20). There are many other crossovers I am ignoring today that relate and answer some of the questions posed last week. No more productivity talk this week! 

… I am listening to episode #721 currently… another great episode that mentions productivity and leverage. Leverage is the word I was looking for in my last post when describing people at different levels…

The End of Veganism

In the early spring of 2020 for the duration of 3 years and 10 months I was devout. 

I can count on one hand the moments that I did not strictly follow this lifestyle over the past 3 years. I think this is something I should be proud of. The morality of discipline is a topic for another day. Regardless, I never ate a single piece of meat. Even as I write this, I am still meat abstinent; however this journey is effectively over. This chapter was not an insignificant one.

I graduated high school as a vegan, moved out as a vegan, earned my first biweekly paycheck as a vegan, and finished my first college semester as a vegan. This chapter of my life I am now writing the final paragraph on and will soon close. New beginnings are upon me. I express fondness over the experience, I have learned a lot, but I burden no solemn emotions as I begin anew. I have not consciously lived long enough to know whether or not life is filled with moments like this or how I should appropriately perceive the end of this chapter. This time has objectively been the greatest period of growth I have ever experienced. From my junior year of high school to now the events of my life have reshaped my core. It is so visceral that it is almost sickening to think about. The past is so clear in hindsight yet every perception I hold is different. I can not imagine living as my high school self again. I know that I hold resent in my heart for the person that I was only three years ago. It is not logical and I can not rationalize how I feel, but I have used this hatred of myself to fuel my reconstruction. Only now, as I write this, am I realizing how caustic this mentality is. Am I someone that will always hate myself on some level? If I was in love with myself, would I be motivated to change? Will I soon hate my vegan self. Do I hate myself now? The answer to these questions I do not know if I am either capable or prepared to introspect.

My resolution is firm, but I am still losing a piece of myself. A piece that for a long time I held close to my self-perception and personal understanding. Veganism is a lifestyle, but for me it had become a way of life, a religious commitment toward the person I desired to be. For its purposes, it has helped me to arrive where I am now, but the person I now desire to be can no longer allow for the restrictions of a vegan diet. It is scary the brain’s ability to adapt and conform thoughts, to maintain beliefs. Only on the other side can we see the yellow grass. “Every belief that I hold is wrong” (Williamson 53:50).

Maybe it is healthier to think of this as a trade and not a loss. 

I would not have admitted it only a few months ago, especially not to myself, but veganism had become a quirk of my identity that made me feel unique; being vegan made me feel like I was in some way superior to most people. There is some underlying complex that I am again unprepared to answer to.

I will again be in the seat of change, devaluing something I hold dear to me now. What will it be? This is one reason I am in love with this blog: I can document my thoughts. I can document what I find interesting at this moment. I can document pivotal moments in my life. I can document my inspirations. I can document the knowledge that will bring me to whoever it might be that I am becoming.

If you asked me “why now?”, I would have to tell you that I have hit a wall. I have reached the effective peak that veganism can allow for me. I have gained more knowledge about my body, my values, and nutrition. I achieved “the goal.” I am ready to break the chain. When I was younger, weaker, this chain supported me, but I am strong now. I need to run, so I will unbind myself. The lock is deep inside my brain and attached to every tarsal, it was soon ago. As I have developed dramatically over the last few years, veganism became the only lifestyle. It is a lens through which I shaped the world. To remain faithful, I had to texture my mind to absolutely reject any food that did not fall into the plant based category. Without it I will have to readjust to see, but I will see most clearly soon. Again, I am excited for my next chapter!

I know where I come from and I know where I am now, and it has been a journey. This has been my journey, and I know that there is much more to be had. Being vegan was only one part of my life, but being vegan was a foundational part of me becoming the person I am today. I am excited to release the limitation I placed on myself almost four years ago, but in doing so, I am also releasing a part of my identity. This I know is an improvement, an evolution that I must 

My reasons for changing and my warnings:

I felt like my health had at best plateaued. The scary part was when I felt like, despite my best efforts, my health was declining. I had lost a large percentage of body weight during this period. At my heaviest, I was in the high 230s. I currently sit in the low 160s. Veganism alone did not allow me to lose this weight. Veganism gave me the structure to lose this weight. It gave me an introduction to learning nutrition and fitness. I would not want to gatekeep, but I have gone through the tunnel. I am at a point in my journey that makes veganism best left in the past. My advice to anyone trying to lose weight is to focus on surrounding yourself with satiating foods, keeping yourself busy, and finding a diet routine and exercise routine that allows you to make consistent, long term progress. Veganism happened to be trendy and it happened to work for me. Find what works for you.

Yes, I felt like my health was declining. I do not know how much research has been done on veganism and its long term effects. From my understanding, the field of nutrition is filled with shallow understandings of how nutrients, compounds, and chemicals actually affect the body. The interaction within the body when processing and storing nutrients is still an area of ongoing study. I would not be surprised if in the near future we discover chemical balances and biological relationships to food that we are oblivious to today. I might be completely misguided. I will have to do some research.  

My next reason is that I am a 20 year old guy that simply wants to build his body. I want to be able to give more in the gym and during my runs. The easiest way for me to ensure that I am meeting my nutritional needs is to diversify my diet.

My third reason is that I want to experience more. The times that I broke my diet I justified either by “giving myself experience” or “not wanting to waste food.” I plan on traveling the world. I want to experience culture. Food is an irrefutable cornerstone of all cultures. I will be traveling to Japan next year. Would I not be foolish to reject a foreign experience in place of my ideology?

Fourth, I want to remove the setbacks and limitations in my life. If I am going to optimize every aspect of my life, I too must optimize my diet. The inconvenience of veganism in my busy life has surpassed its threshold. Having to supplement protein and avoid so many foods requires both a large amount of conscious and physical effort–no longer can I afford this.

My fifth reason is that I have become more educated. I have learned that diversification of whole foods tends to result in the most balanced diets. I have also learned that not all nutrients are made the same. To give a simple example without going too in depth, every protein is made of amino acids. The ratio of these proteins has a direct effect on metabolism.  in learning the value of nutrients, specifically proteins and how they are not made equally, I can not justify a vegan restriction any longer.

Finally, I will be able to once again enjoy the foods that I loved and had demonized for so long in order to limit cognitive dissonance. At the time of writing this, I am still just dipping my toes into a vegetarian diet. I still have not gone into a full omnivore diet, and I do not ever again want to divulge into a diet that neglects health for pleasure. That would defeat the purpose of endeavoring on this journey in the first place. I will continue to monitor food quality, calorie intake, added sugar, and artificial/ unnatural additives, but I will not continue to demonize a whole category of food… All this to say that I want to have sour cream again. I want to have sushi. I want to eat rotisserie chicken, and I want to be able to enjoy a vegetable omelet on a cool spring day. 

I forget that I am only a man sometimes.

This is all that I have for this week. Most importantly, this is the beginning of something new. I am glad to be able to share this with you… and my future self… ever forward. 

As always, this has been Tristan! The one and only, forever me! I’m out. Bye bye! 

Citation

Williamson, Chris, host. “#721 – George Mack – Why Can No One Think Rationally Anymore?” Modern Wisdom, Spotify, 18 Dec. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/1XdTjVHlKIqJNOjby6VUkC?si=414a5c35ef9d424f. Accessed 20 Dec. 2023.

Hello and welcome back!

First, I want to quickly mention Modern Wisdom #709 for its relevance to some of my previous posts related to nutrition. If you want a professional perspective on some of the topics discussed in the calories series, this is a good podcast episode to listen to.

Continuing off the last couple of weeks, I will be concluding my thoughts on productivity and masculinity.

While reviewing my post last week and reflecting on the end of the academic semester, I want to insert a caution. I believe in what I said last week, but I am reflecting on my intentions. Productivity must have some goal behind it. This goal can be superficial or transcendent, but there must be something desired, something to be productive towards. In the next few weeks, I want to commit some time to analyzing what I am driven by and my innermost values. I will create a post where I attempt to be honest with myself and find insight. By writing it in a blog post, I can track my thoughts and then later reflect on it in the future. There is also the possibility that from sharing my thoughts publicly, I can express myself in ways that are different from the internal expression of thoughts. Additionally, the ideas have the potential to be shared, reacted to and interpreted by individuals other than myself. Ultimately, I am confident that I will gain some insight.

In some ways, my goal of productivity was to become productive. By improving and doing the work, I was directly accomplishing my goal. This gamification of life is a very powerful motivator for me personally. I find comfort in knowing that I am improving my metrics because this gives me hope that eventually, these metrics will be reflected in every aspect of my life. The issue with productivity being the goal is that once I reach a certain level of success my values are likely to change. I will not need to hope or gamify my life to find comfort because I will have built more tangible security. To further myself beyond that point I worry will lead to regret. Then, I must ask the question, “what is the next goal?” I think that this thought will lead me toward improving relationships, family, and legacy; however, I do not want to get too deep into this thought today.

The purpose being, when productivity is no longer the goal of productivity, the sacrifices required for productivity will likely outweigh the worth of productivity. As I repeatedly mentioned in my last post, productivity has diminishing returns, so the best balance for me is likely somewhere in the middle. Unless we extend the productivity goal toward improving relationships, family, and legacy. In that way, I could preserve this ideology as I transition through life, but this is stretching the idea. Productivity as I have defined it is more of a metric, a quantity, an object to obtain. Arguably, the meaning of life is not found there. The things that are existentially valuable to me are likely more substantive and profound, maybe even more elementary than what productivity can gain. For this reason, I predict that my happiest life will find a balance between the two–productivity and what I will call ambiance, ambient productivity, or just “living.”

Intentionally and coincidentally, I made the perfect transition into a conversation that I listened to this past week. In Modern Wisdom #717 they briefly talk about the pitfalls of success. This ties directly into what I am talking about above. “Convenience starts to become more and more important to you… the positive is that you start maximizing your time over target… but the negative side of it is, you do reach a point where if your best friend had a flat tire three blocks from your house, you would send a tow truck. When you have reached that stage of avoiding being inconvenienced, you have accepted yourself out of humanity… On one hand they become more human and on the other they become less. The goal is to become more without becoming less” (Williamson #717 – 21:25). I think Boering is referring to a very similar idea. He has made it much further along than I have, so I can not pretend to understand entirely, but I am interpreting the ideas as similar. What he is saying, in the context of what I said, is that we want to increase productivity, but in this game, we should not lose purpose, we should remain human and evaluate our goals.

Finally, I wanted to question these ideas from my personal life:

I have been thinking about how far ahead I could get by using it for productivity instead of relaxation. Is this an unhealthy mindset or is the mindset of the majority the unhealthy one? Like mentioned above, am I losing my humanity by making these sacrifices? What am I sacrificing for this? Is it worth it? Is this even the best for productivity long term? I guess the answer partially lies within my own personal circumstance. I am curious to know your thoughts.

This is where I will leave productivity to rest for now.

Masculinity continued…

Last week, I mentioned how I felt the external pressures around me encouraging me to pace myself in an attempt to relieve my anxiety about the future. While I do not believe that malevolence fuels the motive, I believe that this atmosphere surrounds my generation and is reflected in the growing unhappiness in our culture. In the society I have grown up in, relative to the past, there is an immense privilege given to even less privileged individuals. The progressive nature of withdrawing pressure from childhood decision making and disabling the need for grit in young people I believe is correlated with the unhappiness that we find in the younger populations. I am saying this as a member of this cohort, and I have made this observation in my peers.

I have listened to Chris reference the “slow-life theory” and the comparative lack of improvement seen in the younger generations to the previous generations. I have been in that cohort of individuals. I am grateful now to at least be able to perceive the world from a wider lens, but I can still see how my actions and the actions of my peers are affected. I think that this experience is directly related to masculinity. I think this is, at least in part, a suppression of masculinity. This docile persuasion and tendency among men has ripple effects both on the individual and society. Currently, I can only make assumptions and cite anecdotal evidence, but unsubscribing from my past lifestyle, I have noticed improvements. It was not easy and I believe that there are sacrifices to this change, but ultimately, I am much happier, more productive, and an overall improvement of who I used to be. I can not nail this down with anecdotes and quick ideas, but I have a firm belief that there is a powerful internal instinct inside men that society is suppressing in the pursuit of ideals. My worry is that we are ignoring the loss of the things that have historically given our communities strength in place of something that is arguably superficial.

Let’s first imagine what life would have been like from an evolutionary and historical perspective. First, if we go back a couple millennia, humans had a constant pressure to be fit enough to both be able to secure food and ultimately mate and raise a family. The alternative was death. Again, if we go back only a couple hundred years, before the advent of basic modern technologies, there was still great uncertainty for food and basic survival resources. This pressure spanned from early childhood through the life of almost every human that existed before the modern era. Simply, we could not stop working if we expected to survive and perpetuate our genes. In contemporary times, this is not the case. I suspect that this change likely began the convenience and security increase from technology in the last few decades. This ambient sense might have been accumulating since the beginning of the industrial revolution, but only now, in our relatively stable, secure society, can we observe the more extreme effects. “Very few young men are literally starving or having to steal food to survive. And, now, if you want to do something difficult, you have to make the choice to do it, rather than be pressured by external factors” (Williamson #713 – 34:25).

MW #713 Chris Williamson and Rob Henderson talk about the young male syndrome, the male sedation hypothesis, unemployment of young, able men, and slow-life theory. (26:00 – 36:15)

Here, I think they are focused on the extremes, but I believe that this effect is distributed more like a spectrum that affects all men and women to a greater or lesser degree. For the sake of time, I will move on, but there are some very interesting correlations here.

Going back to my experience more recently, I have developed trust in myself. I think having ability and competency is a stem of masculinity and is fundamental to both male and female happiness. I have proven to myself what I am capable of—I am incredible even in my low moments, so I know that I will get to where I am going. Here is where I derive strength. If someone, particularly a young man, is convinced that he should stagnate through his life, he will delay any development of skill or competency. How can he then be happy if he is forced to rely on others? How can he be happy if he can not trust himself to be able to push through hardship using his own hands?

A part of my philosophy is the idea that the only reason to worry is if you do not trust yourself to make the right decisions. I recently wrote to my roommate last month, “Do the best you can and take away as much as you can from every experience. If we can do those two things, there is no reason to ever worry. It will be good.”

The emphasis here is on the “do the best you can.”

To do this, we have to have faith in our ability now and trust that tomorrow we will do the same (routine, discipline, self control, mind mastering).

Finally, this week I want to debate toxic masculinity from my perspective. I find it dangerous for society to try and separate men from traditionally masculine traits. I am not as idealistic enough to believe that we can exclusively pick and choose the good from the bad.

To help frame this idea, here is an example. When our companies filter out blunt, harsh, self centeredness from their employees, they also filter out some highly skilled individuals. Think about a war general; the best general is not going to be the nicest guy. It seems naive to me to restrict masculinity at every level and expect to receive the best men. Companies that filter out these individuals might be inspiring “good” traits but not the ones that better their company. If we do this on a societal level, we might filter out the leaders, the visionaries, and the innovators. Look at the CEOS and men that have made it to the top. I’m sure that they are nice people, but they would have to alter their personality to conform with lower level societies expectations. What is the path for driven men that want to do hard work and do not want to act? Must we use this filter? Am I imagining this filter? Must a great leader be able to adapt to societal expectations? How does this culture affect the speed of humanities progress?

I keep thinking of Elon Musk. He is a modern radical thinker, a hard working contrarian. I think he is one of multiple models of masculinity. What I am trying to say is that I think our society slows men like him down. The issue I am finding is that I think that there are more “Elons” lost to our progressive filtering. Maybe it is too risky to allow powerful men to go unregulated. Maybe it is too risky for any man to go unregulated, but how can we allow men like Elon to do their best work and move forward as a society? I do not have a solution, but my proposal today is that it is too risky for all men to be regulated down to perfection as is the popular expectation.

Again there are more ideas that I did not have the time to fully think through this week. I will come back to them another day. Here are the ideas that need some refinement and might inspire a future post:

I caution extremity but there is a strength in the ability to resist flow. Taking from Jordan Peterson’s idea about the capacity for control only coming with strength, a person is not truly kind until they have the power to not be and choose to. Most people are kind as part of an act, a conformity to society. There is an innate sense of kindness in man, I believe this, but if expression is forced by the environment you live within, can you ever be genuine?

The idea that truth is on a scale. We want to express 100 percent but society does not approve of those that are fully honest (at least when at the lower levels of society), so we have to dial back our honesty until we reach secularity, the independence, to voice our truth without fear or repercussions. I see this in my college applications, and in my daily interactions in the professional world. An idea related to this is mentioned in Modern Wisdom #114.

What were almost all men 300 years ago before the Industrial Revolution? Men were nobles, warriors, craftsmen, farmers, adventurers, and slaves. Don’t be fooled into thinking the warriors are gone and slavery is abolished; Society has simply changed the titles of these men. Which are you now?

I am finding that I need to either limit my content or make more time for writing! Thank you all for listening here today. As always, it has been Tristan. Signing off!

Citation

Williamson, Chris, host. “#713 – Rob Henderson – Why Is Everyone Acting Like A Victim?” Modern Wisdom, Spotify, 30 Nov. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/2vMKeKv6lGA1HKIfA4Bjbx?si=34104735398340b9. Accessed 18 Dec. 2023.

Williamson, Chris, host. “#717 – Jeremy Boreing – Going To War With Mainstream Media.” Modern Wisdom, Spotify, 9 Dec. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/77TdD4AL6hUE3QLD572VjR?si=46f5465923ad4937. Accessed 16 Dec. 2023.

The first few paragraphs will tie up last week.

As I said that I would, let me make the distinction between mental and psychological health. The main distinction (for my purposes here today) between mental and psychological health is that Mental is mostly our cognitive perspective of life. Psychological is more of our unconscious infrastructure. Mental is how we process new information, observe the world, and perceive our daily thoughts. Psychological health is a specific focus on how we observe our ability, our determination of self worth and self esteem, and the meaning that we give to our life.

Okay, I am at 80% productivity. This percentage I believe is fundamental to happiness. I think there is a direct correlation between productivity and happiness. If I were to simplify this thought, I would say that we all build our productivity reserves when we work or do tasks toward our greater goals. This is figuratively like a bank account. This can also be literally a bank account if that is tied to the goal. As we increase this percentage, we cinch our leisure exponentially for credit toward our productivity account. This conversion is what I want to focus on personally. I would also like to quickly mention that suffering or struggle do not translate to productivity. Productivity is a skill of accomplishing effective work. While I might be giving90% of my time, I believe that about 80% is productive. This productivity percentage is then factored again (i.e., quality, compounding effort, environmental influence, application, and other internal/ external influences) for outcomes. For example, we can give effort at 100%, but this percentage is then divided by intentionality to get productivity. I made a comment related to this in post #8. “Intentionality” here means that this effort needs to be purposeful to be productive work. Then this productivity gets factored by dozens of other both uncontrollable and controllable factors: how we are applying this work long term for instance. Additionally, it might seem obvious, but people are all at various stages in life. The transaction of our time will not translate the same. We all have a unique environment, unique opportunities, and unique abilities.

I have given myself a productivity score of 80% because I believe that I am very effectively applying my time toward my goals. I observe this percentage as exponentially more and more difficult to improve. Like an exponential equation. Here “x” is our percentage from 1 to 100. “Y” is then the scrutiny in the organization of productive time–the greater the percentage, the greater the scrutiny becomes. For instance, going from 60% to 70% we might be focused on the days a week that we are consistent. Going from 80% to 90%, there is a focus on the minutes. To gain that last remaining percent requires an extreme refinement of every waking moment. Although I am sure there is a relevant term that already exists, I will call this the “productivity asymptote.” This is the idea that productivity, like many things, has diminishing returns. It should be noted that I believe that this percentage increase is linear. Going from 70% to 80% ups the output by 10%. Productivity itself is not exponential, but the output can be and usually is. This is one of the reasons that I believe that many find it difficult to passionately work toward goals. In the beginning, our exponentially diminishing effort is only received by linear productivity. It is not until we factor the greater outcomes that we are potentially rewarded.

I would also like to add that we are not computers, so we have to account for health. We must socialize, we must manage stress, we must eat. We have to take care of our bodies, but even here we can optimize. Every moment outside of our minimal requirements for consistent output is a percent of our effort. Again, this time is factored by the effort level of focus toward your goals. I could spend all day working a job, but if I do not need the money or I could make more money elsewhere, that is not productive. This ties directly into procrastination. It is possible to procrastinate with a task that is not enjoyable. Do not deceive yourself!

Now, applying this idea personally, I scrutinize all of the decisions that I make with my time. This requires me to abide by a tight schedule. I am still very new to this, so I am far from perfect. Since productivity is a skill, I intend to get better with practice. I think it might be fun to create tiers of productivity. Every 5% increase can get a name and a list of requirements for someone to reach that level. For me, I think 80% requires the consistent use of a schedule and at least 10 hours of productive work a day.

I am still very much defining my limits for health. In order to be able to produce results long term, I have to maintain my mind and body, but I am experimenting with separating myself from food as a pleasure. This does not mean that I never enjoy the food I eat. This simply means that I focus food as a resource from energy, recovery and productivity over simple gratification. I am genuinely interested to see how restricting pleasure affects my output in the short and long term. There is no reason to remove pleasure if it does not limit productivity (this is a dangerous level of self restriction), but when it comes to food, for example, I spend too much time preparing the foods that satisfy me more. Reaching higher levels, I must consume calories more out of necessity than desire.

I have already replaced most simple pleasures with ones that work for me. Again, I am learning the limits as I go. This easily borders disorder, but I am curious to know the limits of my body–my machine. This is fun for me. This is the game, and I live for the power my restriction induces. I can hear your silent voices cautioning me, but if the mistake I am going to make in my 20s is “he worked too hard,” I will take it. My behavior has not become dysfunctional, quite the opposite, and I am as healthy as I have ever been physically, mentally, and psychologically. Because of this, I will continue to test the limits. I predict that I will hit a physical limit before I hit a psychological one, but as my environment improves, so will my physiology.

Going from this conversation about productivity, I want to throw out some ideas this week about masculinity. These ideas are the sum of my personal beliefs, my observations, and my media influences.

Making a transition from the conversation about productivity above, I find it strange that society often seems to discourage men from hard work. I have observed a high level of subliminal messaging from the communities around me that suggest that I “take my time.” I have heard this treacherous line too many times: “you’re young, you have time.” I believe that this is an idea that spawns from the abundant privilege in our American society. I believe that authority figures often preach this idea as a means of relieving immediate anxiety and pressure, but this thinking comes at a much greater long term cost. The young do have the most time, but this also means that they should be the most diligent. The young have an obligation to themselves to organize their life so that they can be happiest. In doing this as individuals, we can have a better society. And, again, I believe that productivity is directly correlated to happiness. Tying happiness to productivity might come with its own risks, but I think the psychological framework provided by knowing that we are moving forward is invaluable towards living life. Modern Wisdom #706 has a great conversation about living life with uncertainty. This specific part of the conversation is toward the end of the episode, but the whole episode is worth a listen.

Again referencing Modern Wisdom, listening to MW #702 (specifically beginning at 34:00) I was given some ideas.

I spent all of my time this week focusing on last week, so again, I will return for this conversation about masculinity next week. Expect some good stuff next week! Well, do you not already expect this?

It has been Tristan from HQ, signing off.

I have been going through a change recently. I have been putting a large amount of energy into my pursuits. Did you not see that amazing pie recipe last week? I do not know how to break it to you, but I’m not giving 100%… let me explain.

This week I want to talk about what I have observed and some of my thoughts around the infamous word “productivity.” I think this word has become so notorious that its meaning has been diluted. I am here today to redefine the word and give you my synopsis of how productivity relates to mental, physical, and psychological health. Yes, I am separating mental and psychological health. I will explain.

First, I will define productivity and supply my theories:

I will be referencing Modern Wisdom episode #702. To define my productivity, I will begin with an idea posed in that episode; the 24-hour-you (25:00). I recommend that you listen to the episode to get the complete idea, but I will summarize here. The 24-hour-you is a system of decision making where one asks themself what their tomorrow self would want them to do. In theory, this idea helps to disconnect us from our present state of mind by introducing the perceived consequence of tomorrow. The significance is not the idea of delayed gratification or forward thinking but the time frame. Mental states fluctuate too frequently for decisions to be made in any shorter time scales. Additionally, going too far into the future diminishes the perception of the reward. This relates to the guiding principle and question strategy—questioning what decisions now mean towards your later self and the goals you aim to achieve. This is one of the reasons dieting is so psychologically challenging; the loss of 10 pounds is very significant , but when having to control eating in the moment for a goal that is weeks away, it is easier to diminish the reward and more difficult to stave off immediate pleasure. This long term focus is similar to following a guiding principle; however the 24-hour-you simplifies our focus and limits the determination and discipline required. Additionally, this could be compared to atomic habits. Atomic habits often encounter the first challenge I mentioned: the fluctuation of the mind. Again, atomic habits require a high, continual determination and persistence to a goal. Potentially finding the Goldilocks Zone for a mental framework is where the 24-hour-you becomes significant. (Original conversation of the 24-hour-you in Modern Wisdom episode #691). This strategy is not foolproof. I foresee this process becoming tedious, and ultimately we are still at the mercy of unstable human cognition. I said all of this to, in a roundabout way, define productivity: Productivity is completing the tasks, by priority and effect, that allow you to best accomplish your 24-hour-you, your guiding principle, self actualization.

Now that I have defined the word, I would like to talk more about what initially brought this idea to mind. Recently, I have been on a new level of self discovery and growth. My transition from the person I was has been dramatic. I am making this self-transition sound more spontaneous than it was. I have been building myself up for the past few years. The beginning of this fall semester however, I did hit a crescendo. I realized many things, but here are a few notable lessons that I was recently able to absorb into my psyche: time is a commodity that will always be in scarcity; I am inferior to no one, so I am also permitted to greatness; most limitations are self imposed. One of these limitations is the focus of today–productivity.

I for a long time knew the limitations of my output. I knew that I had the ability to give more, but I did not know how much I was limiting myself until I flipped the switch. Simply put, I have wasted too many hours, but I know that reflecting on my previous self in this way is meaningless. I am more grateful to have observed this reality in my youth. I have mentioned this concept before in my previous post about productivity, but our society, or at least the one I have been exposed to, encourages low expectations. We are often told to slow down, take vacations, and that we are deserving of relaxation. Mental health is extremely individualized and intricate, so I will not assume others share my likeness, but is productivity not uniquely satisfying? I believe that much of the depression and uncertainty of my generation is a byproduct of the society discouraging relentless ambition. I’m sorry that the meaning of that is vague. I expect to continue this conversation next week. For now, all I will say is that productivity, while inducing a new level of both good and bad stress, has improved my dispositions on life.

Moreover, as stated, I have reached a new level of productivity. If I had to quantify my output, I would give myself a score of 80%. The me of yester-year would be lucky to receive 40%, and I believe this is where most people settle. I would not be surprised if this is the source of discontentment and regret many individuals find themselves trapped by to be sourced. The numbers I mentioned are relative… More on this next week.

I have more to say and more that I wanted to cover here, but I am out of time for the week. I will continue this conversation next week Here is one last idea that I have already written:

Because it is correlated, I will throw in this additional idea. In Modern Wisdom # 702, Chris talks about the blindness that we often have when viewing our own productivity and what we have accomplished. Also in this episode, Chris talks about the curse of knowledge: once we know a thing, we can not understand what it is like to not know that thing. I tried to correlate this to psychology, but I can not find the appropriate term. Both of these are like the inverse hindsight bias. Instead of believing that we knew something as obvious after learning the outcome; now that we have an outcome, we can not observe what would have been obvious to a previous point in our knowledge. It seems that knowledge overrides previous “inferior” knowledge, and we are left ignorant to what we once knew– new knowledge or ability makes us ignorant to our past condition. This is why we have hindsight bias, success horizons, and my inverse hindsight bias. These ideas are fresh and still need some polishing, but here we can potentially glean a new perspective. Instead of comparing ourselves to ourselves of the past, we can objectively observe who we are now; We might take a moment to appreciate the knowledge we have gained, even if we are unaware of that knowledge’s sacrifice.

If you take anything away from this week, take away that you can do more. Listening to Chris so much recently, I have familiarized myself with the word “zero sum.” You can do more; productivity requires sacrifices, but productivity is not zero sum. I would not be exaggerating to call my recent transition enlightening. Changing my focus has reshaped my outlook on life. I will continue this conversation next week. Until then, it has been Tristan from HQ, and it will always be Tristan. Let’s go and get it y’all!

Citation

Williamson, Chris, director. #702 – 16 Lessons From 700 Episodes. Spotify, 4 Nov. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/6eTcCo06hkIJWfy1piyLIg?si=d2fbad214f3746f1. Accessed 3 Dec. 2023.

Welcome back!

I have something special for you today!

Before we get to the main course, I would like to mention a podcast episode first: Modern Wisdom episode #696. I only began to listen to this episode after I completed my post last week. The content is directly related to my post last week. If you want another, professional, perspective on diet and exercise, I recommend you listen to that episode. The link is in the citation at the bottom of this post.

In the spirit of the holiday season, I am sharing a sweet potato pie recipe with you today:

Crust Recipe (1 – 9in):

210g – 1 ½ cups – Unbleached, All-purpose Flour

100g – 7 tbsp – Salted Plant Butter

6g – ½ tbsp – White Sugar

4g – ½ tsp – Iodized Salt

90g – 6 tbsp – Ice Water

Filling Recipe:

600g – 2 ¼ cups – Baked Sweet Potato

50g – ¼ cup – Full Fat Coconut Milk

50g – 3 ½ tbsp – Brown Sugar

4g – ½ tsp – Iodized Salt

1 tsp – Vanilla Extract

1 tsp – Pie Spice (Coriander, Cinnamon, Nutmeg, and Allspice)

80g – ⅓ cup – Caramel

80g Caramel Recipe:

50 g – 3 ½ tbsp – White Sugar

50g – ¼ cup – Full Fat Coconut Milk

Oven:

350F – 60-70 minutes

I had this recipe from last year, but I improved it for you today. A previous coworker, and friend, said that she did not use egg in her pies. This comment gave me confidence that I could make a very simple, very tasty, vegan pie. I will start off by listing potential substitutions. If you are not vegan, milk butter can be substituted exactly the same as plant butter. Although the coconut flavor is at best mild in the final pie, if coconut isn’t your thing, heavy cream can be substituted. Also, if you want to further simplify this recipe, the caramel can be substituted by doubling the brown sugar and the coconut milk and ignoring the caramel. I enjoy making caramel, but it is not necessary. While I did not do this, you could finish the pie with whipped cream and a caramel drizzle. I will save this idea for next time. If you eat eggs, I would add an egg or two to the recipe to bind the filling as it cooks. This is mostly a textural change. The recipe is already a great consistency, so do not worry. Try the egg, and although I know that it will be amazing, let me know how it turns out!

I started by baking the potatoes. My recipe requires 600g of sweet potato. I cooked four medium sized potatoes, around 250g each. I used two and one half of the sweet potatoes, so I would recommend that you cook at least three sweet potatoes to be on the safe side.

I rinsed the potatoes, put them on a pan with parchment paper and put them in the oven. I cooked the potatoes for about 80 minutes at 400F. Cook until tender. I cut them in half with a fork and let them cool while I prepared the crust.

For the crust I started with 210g of unbleached, all-purpose flour. The secret to a flakey crust is making sure that the mixture stays cold until it is placed into the oven. I put the flour in my mixing bowl and placed that bowl in the freezer for about 15 minutes to make sure that the bowl and flour was cool. I then added my 100g of butter. If you want to be a little crazy, you can add the whole stick (≈110g or ½ cup). I then used a metal spatula to cut the butter into the flour. The most important part is ensuring that the mixer stays cool. Cut the butter into the flour until all of the chunks are no bigger than about half a centimeter or a quarter of an inch. I then added the salt and sugar. This can be added before the butter; I had just forgotten. This is a good time to place the bowl back into the fridge or freezer to ensure that everything stays chilly. I finally added the ice water and continued cutting the mixture with the spatula until it was mostly mixed. Then, back into the fridge! At this point, everything should look shredded. After cooling again, flour your surfaces and then use a rolling pin to combine the dough into a solid shape. It does not and should not be perfect. Again, place it in the refrigerator and begin the filling.

By the time that you have made the dough for the crust, the potatoes should be cool enough to handle. Place measured sweet potato into your mixing bowl. Add brown sugar, coconut milk, vanilla extract, pie spice, and salt.

For the caramel you can use premade caramel or substitute it like I mentioned above. I melted the sugar in a small pot. Sugar goes from solid to burned very quickly, so a low stove temperature and full focus is required. As soon as the sugar is melted, slowly add the coconut milk and stir. It will bubble and clump temporarily. Let the mixture warm up between each addition. Once all of the coconut milk is added, heat and stir until a smooth consistency is reached. Let it cool for a few minutes and you’re done! I would recommend that you taste it before you add it to your filling to make sure that it is not burned, then add it!

Roll out your cool dough as circular and uniform as you can make it. Flour is your friend here! When compared to your pie glass, the final diameter of the rolled dough should be about an inch out on each side. Although we want to achieve an even circle, continue to focus on keeping the dough cool. Once rolled, place the dough in the baking glass. The trick here is to roll the dough around your rolling pin and unroll it onto the glass. Fold, pinch, or shape the crust edge however you like. Remember, we are trying to keep it cool, so the less contact time with your warm hands, the better. I was not done with the filling at this point, so I placed the hollow crust back into the fridge to cool once more.

The filling only needs to be gently mixed by hand. Since I was not relying on egg to bind the mixture, the natural texture of the potato is beneficial to giving structure. Any electric mixing or blending might produce a slightly looser filling texture. The filling should be fairly thick. Remember, I did not use egg or cornstarch to bind my filling, so too much liquid will result in a loose pie. If you would like to bulk up the filling, 100g of milk and 10 g of cornstarch can be added. This will create a smoother, more liquid filling. The cornstarch will then bind the filling as it cooks. I have not experimented with this addition. Play with this ratio and let me know how it turns out!

Finally, I put the filling into the pie crust. I roughly smoothed the top, and I placed the pie into the 350F oven.

Because I needed to share the oven with my roommate, I did increase the temperature halfway through cooking. My pie spent about an hour in the oven. Because of the variability of opening the oven and later increasing the temperature, I do not have an exact time. I recommend just watching for a lightly browned crust.

I did not have the time or the daily calories to try my pie that night. I let my pie cool in open air overnight. The pie can be left on the stove to cool overnight or in the fridge. Covering the warm pie could make the crust soggy from the trapped steam leaving the pie. We would not want all of that cooling to go to waste!

Calculating the calories from all the ingredients I used, the total pie is about 2630 calories. This makes for roughly 330 calorie ⅛ slices. The final weight of the pie (excluding the glass) was 990g. This makes the caloric density approximately 2.65 kcal/g: for every gram of pie there are about 2.65 calories. This is how I will calculate the calories of my slices. The 83g slice I had this morning was therefore calculated to be about 220 calories. The pie is not a homogeneous mixture, but the slices will be a mostly consistent ratio of filling to crust. Since I plan to remain consistent with my caloric intake, this method of calculation helps me.

I did not calculate the macros of this pie, but I can tell you that the ratio is high in carbs and fats and low in protein. You might reference what I have said in my “Calories” posts and the commentary of that podcast to better understand why I plan on moderating my consumption of this pie so strictly. I will be portioning and freezing most of this pie for later. I am excited to have this pie as a treat over the next few weeks!

That is all that I have for this week. I am glad that I got the opportunity to post about something different and fun this today. Try this recipe; it is simple and rewarding. If you make a substitution, let me know how it turns out. I might make this recipe again for the Christmas season. I will definitely be adding whipped cream and a salted caramel drizzle next time. I might also add some pecans! Next year, I will be adding egg, and I will update you on the results!

This has been Tristan from HQ. I hope your holiday season has started off sweet! I will catch you next week! Bye bye.

Citation

Williamson, Chris, director. #696 – Dr Gabrielle Lyon – How To Build More Muscle and Supercharge Your Longevity. Performance by Gabrielle Lyon, Spotify, 21 Oct. 2023, https://open.spotify.com/episode/2AN1M94ZZXjiQlrycF4CZo?si=b5ae3f19ad784c98. Accessed 23 Nov. 2023.

I am beginning to believe that we have (as a society and individuals) put too much emphasis on diet. I am guilty of doing the same in my life and in previous posts. I have spent the last three and a half years being vegan. I will make it to year four, but I do not predict that I will make it to year five. Why? Well, simply put, being vegan does not align with my goals as strongly as it once did. I started my journey in a much different place than I am now, and while I could happily live this lifestyle till the end, this is no longer a limitation that solely brings me strength like it once did. I want to evolve, I want to grow, so my habits must be scrutinized and adapted.

I want to mention early now that I do not plan on talking much more about diet until I can provide evidence to support my claims. I have been very anecdotal, and I must avoid spreading false information. Some of the topics around diet that I would like to post about include how diet relates to sleep, hunger hormones, insulin, food volume, and internal calorie storage. So much of what is taught is slanted with trendy fads and marketing bias. Food is a big industry and there is a large amount of propaganda wherever there is a large amount of money. I am swayed by what I think I know and ignorant of what I yet do not. Ultimately, the human body is complex, but I no longer believe diet needs to be. Belief alone however will lead me down a slippery slope. Take every advice with a grain of salt–every source has bias. Here are some of my ideas:

The body is a complex system, but I no longer want to complicate food. The primary goal of eating is to provide nutrients. As mentioned previously, these nutrients are broken down into two main categories: macro and micro.

Not all foods are created equally, but I believe (here is that belief I was talking about) that the quality of food is more important than the food itself–grass fed vs fast food, olive oil vs fryer oil.

The word “quality” itself is very muddy. In this context, by “quality,” I mean food at its least adulterated. Artificial ingredients, toxic chemicals, added hormones, carcinogens, or any ingredients that cause inflammation, I will continue to avoid to the best of my ability, and I can confidently say that you should do your best to avoid them too. For example, if I see that my vegan burgers have ingredients that are known to be inflammatory, I will search for an alternative. Additionally, if I know I am allergic to milk, I will avoid milk. If I find that I digest milk similarly to most other foods, it will not be excluded from my diet. I am of the opinion now that food does not need to be as complex as we make it. Simply, I will eat the foods that give my body the nutrients it needs and limit anything more. The foods that allow me to balance my nutrients and maintain a healthy body composition are what I will be focusing on. It is clear that not all foods digest equally. I am aware that 100g of carbs from a soda is not going to digest the same as 100g of carbs from quinoa, but this is where we can apply intelligence. My consensus is that if we can intelligently apply knowledge of how foods interact with the body and moderate consumption, we should not demonize one food or food group.

So many statistics are used to justify x over y, but most of the research on nutrition is correlative. The biggest issue with correlations is that we do not know the direction of correlation. For example, does eating fast food shorten life expectancy, or is it that someone that eats less fast food tends to have a longer life expectancy because they tend to be more health conscious. Fast food is known to include inflammatory ingredients, be calorie dense, be high in saturated fat, and be high in sodium (I want to do more research on saturated fats and sodium intake because these two nutrients are controversial, and I have little substantial knowledge of the two). Knowing what fast food is, if we moderate consumption, balance macronutrients, and supplement the vitamins we are missing, how less healthy would someone be when compared to someone on a vegan diet doing the same? Immediately to me, the greatest separation in these two diets is satiation. 1000 calories of meat and cheese looks a lot different than a 1000 calorie salad with veggies and tofu. If we account for satiety, how would health vary between the two? I find the McDonald’s diet experiments and Krispy Kreme diet experiments provide great evidence for calories-in-calories-out, but where they would be more interesting is to compare the longevity of these diets with other “healthier” diets, controlling for nutrient intake.

This is making me think about my own experience with food. One of the greatest advantages of veganism for weight loss is that many foods on the vegan side of the spectrum have a low calorie density and high water content. As someone that can eat a large volume of food, this aspect has played to my advantage. In addition to high volume, eating high protein foods has also changed my relationship with hunger. The body can digest carbs and fat more efficiently than it does protein. Simply stated, this is why carbs are great for runners and protein is good for weight loss. High volume = more food to fill the stomach. High protein = more time and energy to digest. I am sure (here is that belief again) that this relationship is also why so many find success with low carb, keto diets. If we remove carbs, we are left with only protein and fat. Given only these two, we are more inclined to source most of our calories from protein. Lean meats are mostly protein and meat is commonly eaten alone. Have you ever eaten butter, mayonnaise, olive oil, or beef tallow alone? Simply put, a 90-10 meat to fat ratio is often eaten. A 90-10 fat to meat ratio is not so common. All of this to say that keto diets are ultimately high protein diets. We do not need to be vegan or keto to lose weight. If we struggle to remain full, we might more simply need to increase our overall food volume and protein intake.

Assuming we can control all the modern additions and degrading practices, why would good quality meat harm an omnivore? Maybe I am trying to convince myself of reasons to quit my diet, but I ask myself, why would our bodies evolve to be intolerant to meat? While the universe provides us with many seemingly illogical results, using Occam’s razor and lineal logical thinking, this seems irrational. Thinking alone proves nothing, but the evolutionary biology of nutrition must be considered. Man has been eating meat before man, so what would make us intolerant to meat? Is the intolerance a result of the modern sourcing or processing of the meat? Is it also possible that extending life expectancy exposes us to be more aware of a previously negligible effect? When systems are further optimized, their inefficiencies are amplified and bottlenecks are revealed. It is also possible that the effect of meat is minimal but exponential. The ill effects might only significantly compound after many years. The answers to these questions await many longitudinal studies.

Exercise and a balanced diet are the key. What? I know that you have heard this message before, okay! What I want to emphasize today is that a “balanced diet” might be more than salad and whole grains. Veganism can be a balanced diet but so can a carnivore diet. However, both of these diets require some level of supplementation to be balanced. The best diet therefore would be the diet that naturally supplies every nutrient. Needs vary based on the individual, so the “perfect diet” must be personalized. Maybe the perfect diet for you is one with heavy supplementation if that is the one that makes you happiest and allows you to stay consistent.

I have been thinking about the role diversification can play in many areas of life. I want to dedicate an entire post to this significance of diversification throughout life, but I will introduce the idea here now. Diets that are consistently ranked highly are all diverse diets–they provide nutrients for many different food sources. Going back to what I said in the previous paragraph, a diet must be personalized, but the best diet would be the diet that supplies the most nutrients and the least toxins. Since the diets that supply the most nutrients tend to be diverse, diversity might be a key to living a healthier life.

Nutrition can be broken down into a numbers game of deficiency and surplus. I recently learned about the “Upside-down U curve”. Similar to a bell curve, a “U curve” represents an optimal balance. Often, the best solution is somewhere in the middle of its two extremes. Both too little or too much of something can become detrimental. The same goes with nutrition. Too little iron and you become anemic. Too many calories and you become obese. Finding balance is important. I recently had my blood tested for nutrient deficiency. I am still awaiting the results… but I am trying to improve my nutrient balance–referencing what I said earlier about supplementation, like many popular diets, veganism has its limitations…

I want to conclude with this: I have taken a step back from the information right in front of me, and I see food for what it is: a bundle of nutrients. Find the bundles that give you what you need and most of what you want, and I am confident that you will live a healthy life (there is that belief again). Whenever you see statistics, marketing, or “THE NEW WAY THAT ALL THE MODELS ARE GETTING IN SHAPE THIS SUMMER,” take a moment to consider the simple bundles.

As I alluded to earlier in this post, I have decided that this will be the last of the “calories” series; however, this will most definitely not be the last time I talk about health or nutrition. In the future, I want to apply more focus to my health related posts and supply concrete science alongside my ideas. From this my blog becomes more credible and you receive more meaningful posts.

I’m out of time. Although I rambled more than I usually do this week, I am proud of some of the ideas I shared with you today. Please take with you whatever sticks, and I will do more work to provide you with only the best, most accurate information. A little bit of anecdotal evidence is good too; it keeps it fun.

As always, it has been a pleasure, Tristan from HQ out!

Water travels across the land in cycles. Motionless and unconscious water moves from the vast concentration of the sea into the fluffy heavens of the sky. An amazing journey, a story that is timeless. This is what is expected of water. We rely on the clouds for rain and the rivers for fish, but is the water happy? Invaluable by design and endlessly meaningful, this narrative can not bring joy to water. Happiness is a creation of the mind. For this creation, what is sacrificed?

The motivations of a molecule are just that of the systems in which they exist. The boy–mostly water–has been given a mind and soul. The mind regulates the water, and the soul regulates the mind. The soul is not physical but metaphorical, spiritual, a fabrication of the mind’s complexity. The soul works autonomously, meta to consciousness, all powerful to the being. Remember, water inherits meaning by mere existence within a system. Water without a mind has meaning. Water with a mind searches for meaning. The mind breaks the system and fills the broken pieces with the soul. In this way, the soul is the solution to the mind’s destruction. Fractured meaning in the system of the soul might be the origin of all emotion and feelings of significance. The boy is mostly water. Meaning alone comes from the systems of the universe. The existential collapse into water awaits every mind and soul. All we are given is a moment in time to manifest the meanings of the soul to execute that which we call a life worth living.

The spirit inside, whether god given or fantasized, artificially crafts meaning from desires. The boy chases in circles, like his own personal water cycle, satisfaction, ignorant to the meaning bestowed to all molecules and in denial to the fact that existentialism only provides one guarantee: this one moment. And, even that has no value in knowing. Maybe the beauty of life is finding an end to the cycle, creating a perpetual, motionless system in the soul. Reverting meaning back to the molecule while still deriving happiness, but this seems contradictory–to remove the source and still receive a product. Happiness might not be the guiding principle of the soul or derived from meaning at all. If nirvana is a wisdom than tames the soul maybe then water is the most wise form of existence. Maybe the thinking of the mind and creation of the soul is the fault within man. The sacrifice of knowledge and consciousness is a disconnection to the significance of existence. Giving meaning, attempting to understand meaning, corrupts the universe by altering within it something that is simultaneously innate and nonexistent. If the boy’s happiness comes from the sacrifice of universal meaning to the soul then man is doomed to forever be restless.

If we can convince ourselves that the existential properties that define our physical universe are unlimited, if we can delude ourselves into believing that time is valuable, we can craft love. Love—the emotion crafted by the soul that gives meaning to the conscious existence of man, despite our existential reality.

The boy who craves love is looking for meaning whereas the man in search of love has loved before and lost. As tangible as color and given a texture of bliss, love might be the greatest product of the soul, and therefore love is the greatest product of man. It is the purest meaning behind conscious life, man’s most precious artificial illusion of purpose. To have love and lost begets experience; A man that has loved has felt the wholeness of meaning that can not be forgotten, dismissed, compromised, or imagined. Deception is the art of the brain, but no conscious thought can override the subconscious emotions of the soul. While I believe that the soul exists within the mind, I do not believe that it exists within the same dimension as common thought. The awareness of the soul is indirectly observed from the simple feelings and irrational desires. This might be why feelings of meaning and consistent happiness are so difficult to maintain–we are always communicating to our soul through an intermediate, a medium of chemicals in an endlessly evolving environment.

In this way, as the boy, or any boy, seeks happiness, he is doomed to fail for the lack of wisdom, he is destined to endure heartache because of his desperation and inexperience of love. I do not know if we–our conscious selves–can connect with the soul directly. Systems might allow us to persuade a regular influence, but I personally have little evidence that either a direct connection or such system exists. I think I have loved before… My uncertainty leads me to believe that I have more to experience. My loss of love makes me a man, but my inexperience makes me boyish. In this inexperience, however, I find hope because this means that there might be a cure to the discontentment I regularly feel. Misalignment of the mind plagues my ambition, but I pray to time for the unknown blessing that will soothe my heart. I have many ideas, but I cannot myself now conceive a lasting remedy in the present.

As the water travels around in circles, I wonder if it smiles or frowns upon man and the brain he carries with such vanity. Does our mind exclude us from the remaining entirety of the universal meaning that we are sorrowfully ignorant to? Is the mind of man, the one that allowed him to eat the fruit, the sin which separates us from the wisdom of water, and is death the only promise of reunification?

As a boy, I do not yet have the answers. As a man, I might search till the end of my time. As water, I do not question what is natural. I have defined love here, but I am a wanderer that lusts to experience more. What I am searching for I will find, may time be my ally… may time be my reunion.