Author: Tristan

I had a question, and I figured Chat GPT might be a good resource. Here is my question and the response.

How can a human best cope with the potential to do incredible things and the conflicting desire to live a simple life?

“Balancing the potential for incredible achievements with the desire for a simple life is a nuanced challenge. Here are some strategies to navigate this tension:

**Define Personal Values**:

   – Clarify what matters most to you. Is it fulfillment, family, contribution to society, or personal growth? Understanding your core values will help guide your decisions.

**Set Clear Priorities**:

   – Determine what aspects of both ambitions are most important to you. Allocate time and energy according to these priorities, ensuring that you don’t neglect essential areas of your life.

**Practice Mindfulness and Self-Reflection**:

   – Regularly engage in practices like meditation, journaling, or contemplation to stay connected with your inner desires and monitor any changes in your goals and aspirations.

**Adopt a Balanced Approach**:

   – Find a middle ground where you can pursue meaningful goals without overwhelming yourself. For example, you might work intensely on a project for a few months and then take time off to relax and enjoy simpler pleasures.

**Create Boundaries**:

   – Establish boundaries to protect your personal time and prevent work or ambition from encroaching on your simple life. This could mean setting specific work hours, taking weekends off, or reserving time for hobbies and relaxation.

**Embrace Minimalism**:

   – Simplify your life by focusing on what’s essential. This can involve decluttering your physical space, streamlining your commitments, and saying no to unnecessary obligations.

**Seek Support and Community**:

   – Surround yourself with people who understand and respect your dual desires. Having a supportive community can help you stay grounded and provide perspective.

**Practice Gratitude**:

   – Regularly reflect on what you are grateful for in your simple life and your achievements. This can help you appreciate both aspects and maintain a balanced outlook.

**Adjust Expectations**:

   – Recognize that you don’t have to achieve everything at once. Life is a long journey, and it’s okay to alternate between periods of ambition and simplicity.

**Seek Professional Guidance**:

    – Sometimes, discussing these conflicts with a coach or therapist can provide valuable insights and strategies tailored to your unique situation.

By integrating these approaches, you can create a lifestyle that honors both your potential for greatness and your desire for simplicity, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.”

I know why this question is haunting me right now: I have just completed what some might call a “chapter of my life,” and I am looking for the next goal. Additionally, in pursuit of my goals, during this spring semester I gave an all out sprint for three months. It has been a process of reintegrating back into a more healthy lifestyle balance. I have realized that there is no one way to do anything in this world, and the longer that I focus on the path, the further I feel from the goal. I have now further narrowed my path, but I have yet to define my goal. Since I am not focusing on the short-to-midterm, it now feels like a grand deadline has been placed on me. The significance of every moment, every minute, and every hour  pressures me to give more of my energy. Ironically, this thought is one of the most draining. 

There is some wisdom to be found in numbers 4 and 9. Having not just boundaries between work but seasons of recovery. I do not have the constant pressure that I had only a few weeks ago, but I retain the weight of having projects. I need to clear my plate so that I can focus on starting this so-called “chapter of life” off strong. This might be closest to number 6; I need to streamline my life. I cannot fracture myself in five different directions any longer. I must pick up as much as I can of what I have now, package it, and move on. I guess that the spring semester is over, but I am still very much picking up the pieces of what was left behind by the man of that past. I am going to minimize my Japanese language learning into a hobby. I am going to reduce my creative output to achieve only what I mostly want to pursue. I will organize my environment to reflect my focus. If I am to become a doctor, I must study the human body more. If I am to lead business, I must gain experience in product design, branding, and selling.

I guess I have to pin down what I want to do in this life. I already said that I believe that there are many paths that someone can take to reach a goal. If I set off in the right direction, even if I learn that my goals are not true to where I want to be when I get there, I will be closer. Regardless, the experience will be valuable. My focus now should be on making the best estimate of what will get me to where I should be in the fastest and most enjoyable way. I can not risk wasting too much time, but I also cannot torture myself by putting my ambition over my humanity. I have questions to answer, so I need to break these questions down and start finding answers.

I am curious. What does the first result on Google say about the same question?

It was about the third result, but I like this article:

https://thisevergreenhome.com/the-mental-health-benefits-of-a-simple-life/

It relates to the question I have, and it proposes a personal experience that gleans a possible solution. Relationships, minimalism, and passion projects. We should give that a try.

This has been it for me this week. I have officially shifted from focusing on giving something to others with this blog to using this blog as a tool for me to unscrew my thoughts and document my thinking. It has been Tristan. It always will be Tristan. Bye bye!

Citation

Anderson, Mary. “The Mental Health Benefits of a Simple Life.” *This Evergreen Home*, 3 Mar. 2022, https://thisevergreenhome.com/the-mental-health-benefits-of-a-simple-life/.

ChatGPT. “How Can a Human Best Cope with the Potential to Do Incredible Things and the Conflicting Desire to Live a Simple Life?” *ChatGPT*, OpenAI, 1 June 2024.

Following up on my comment on diet last week, I have just started a new diet that I am excited for. It is a form of calorie counting where I have three 800-calorie meals a day. The goal is to have one when I wake up, one around midday, and one for dinner. For my activity level, 2400 calories is a moderate deficit. Counting calories with one big 2400-calorie list was effective, but it felt consuming and tedious. Crafting three 800-calorie meals with no hard dietary restrictions gives me a structured diet that also allows for flexibility in what and when I eat. I know that I require an average of about 2800 calories to maintain my weight with my current activity level. Dividing calories into two or three meals a day is a very simple process of finding a baseline and setting a goal. Once I get back around 170 (I am currently around 180), I might pay more attention to macros so that I can either retain more muscle as I cut more weight or build more muscle as I maintain my weight. Compared to a form of intermittent fasting, I think that this method will also help to maintain more consistent energy levels throughout the day by spreading out the calories. When my blood sugar gets low, my mood drops, I struggle to chain thoughts, and my motivation is tanked. Experimenting with various macronutrient balances, I am curious to learn how my hunger and energy levels will fluctuate. As obvious as it might be, I have just recently realized how impactful the previous day’s eating affects the next day. I also now realize that all the previous days chain together, affecting internal clocks, circadian rhythms, nutrient levels, and hormone balances. What I ate a week ago and the time I went to sleep three days ago likely have lingering effects on me now. I am trying to return to a better daily consistency so that I can always rule the day! Adding more to my diet as I have experimented the last few days, I also like the flexibility to be able to transition calories from lunch to dinner if I know that I am going out or if I do not have much time for lunch. I am really enjoying this diet so far. I have yet to go through my running routine this week, so we will see how I feel after some high intensity exercise.

Reminded by my mother’s motivation despite her chronic pain, last week I was thinking about the sacrifices people find themselves forced to make by their circumstances. Then, I thought about how much people will sacrifice for freedom, for more. I know that I take a lot of what I have for granted. That is why I am beginning to practice gratitude. My daily life is far from perfect, and my past is even further distant, but I have two kind parents, my health, many freedoms, and stability. I am fortunate to be able to decide on the sacrifices that I make. How much am I willing to give of myself to the circumstances of building my future?

For the focus of this week, I want to summarize a conversation that I had with my now-ex-roommate Eddy. We were both so busy this past year that even though we slept in adjacent rooms, we found almost no time to communicate. We decided to meet up Friday to spend time, catch up, and talk. I would like to share some of the ideas that were introduced to me or spurred by the conversation:

For context, Eddy is a music composition major and a practicing polyglot with a genuine passion for art, people, and the world.

The limitation of the textbook: those who embrace their curiosity and learn for knowledge sake become the artists, the architects of innovation. We related to how far simple acts of going beyond expectations reach. For example, when a student of an institution takes the time to talk to a professor after class and expresses the curiosity to ask questions outside of the “required material,” it signals a passion that separates the student from the average. A little goes a long way. I do not have direct experience, but I am confident that this same signaling applies to many forms of human interaction. That could be from personal relationships to business to international affairs.

Versed Artist: Eddy repeatedly emphasized the importance of a diverse appreciation of art within the context of music. He relayed to me the complementary relationship between the arts and the significance of being well-cultured with a broad array of media. For example, I might create visual art, but I, the artist, require more than an appreciation of paint to garner the true title of artist. He is learning language and gaining appreciation for writing, history, culture, and human emotion. While I believe that many connection points exist, only when someone can broaden their interpretation and connect to what is around them can they be an artist of value. Anyone can create art. Very few are artists.

Entertainer vs. Artist: The next idea I really enjoyed being introduced to. It is the differentiation between the entertainer and the artist. My friend, being a musician, is in the center of these congruent yet conflicting worlds. What I found so interesting is the western perception that blurs the line between these two to the point that they are synonymized. The significance of this idea is the divergence between the correlation between the artist and the entertainer. These two are often sold in the West as a pair, but they have exclusive objectives. An artist can be an entertainer, and an entertainer can also be an artist, but the purpose of art can be lost when the two are conflated. The artist is focused on the craft, not the reaction. The reaction is what builds reputation, status, and monetary growth, but it does not directly relate to the art. I see, with the abundance of social media, the pressure for all people to become entertainers—entertainers to other people and to themselves. It then becomes so easy to place the reactions—likes and clicks—as a priority over the content itself. This is not only a situation that degrades the quality of our cultural art. It also degrades the quality of all innovation and social progress. To be rewarded by the illusion, the reactions of the distant and anonymous, instead of the satisfaction gained from completing quality work, breeds a superficial workforce. I recognize that this relationship between artist and entertainer was not invented in modern times. This is likely the result of the human psychological desire to gain approval. As I go forward, I challenge myself to question my motives against the ambition of impressing others and the meaning gained from meaningful art. Again, this is not just music or drawing. This is politics; this is science; this is any professional craft!

We also spoke about the curiosity that exists between professionals. We spoke about how curiosity leads many experts to become the masters that they are. This curiosity is unlikely to be singular by its nature, so when individuals of different domains of mastery come together, there is often a recognition and spark between the two. It might be that they do not have much direct interest in each other, but minimally, there is often an appreciation shared between two knowledgeable individuals. I expect to cross many spheres of people during my life. Given the gift of life, during my time, I will experience mastery and be able to share my curiosity with all of the other thoughtful people. This is one of many purposes that fuel me.

I really enjoyed the conversation that I had with my friend. Thank you for reading this week, my friend. This has been Tristan. It always will be Tristan! Bye.

Today, I want to talk about the future. I think a lot about the future, and I am conflicted about the life I want to live. Many worry about being stuck in the past; in many ways, I am, but I am beginning to worry about the outcomes of living my life in the future.

I have been working to discover where I am going, and I am still very much in search of my own wisdom. I personally do not have much fear about physically moving, but starting life—starting a new chapter—gives me anxiety. I now have university, but there are 101 questions I still need to answer. I have faith in the future, whatever that means. I have some solid ideas within health, aging, and medicine. Let’s see where I go.

Talking to my mother the other day, I began to question how far confidence or belief in my ability has taken me. How much of what I can do is natural skill, and how much of it is the result of applying myself? This question might not be so black, white, or even gray, so why do I wonder for an answer? My curiosity about this question comes from my curiosity about the person I am becoming. Is who I am becoming already made, or must his sculpture be constantly reminded? Must I struggle the whole way to the top, or am I already on the trajectory of the success I desire, given to me by who I am? How much can I meaningfully influence this future? A part of me tells me to be more present; I think this is right, but I often find it scary and challenging. I like to relish in the imaginary blissful future that I will create with my present ambition, even if I am unsure that I will ever allow myself to enjoy the fruit completely.

What makes me a high-performer? What gives me great ambition? What role does my perception of myself play in my real output?

Let me inject by saying that I feel a sense of grandiosity, a purpose that only I can fulfill. I feel great pressure when thinking about the opportunities that I can provide for the future of my family, the future of my legacy, and the future of the world. This is drowned in ego, but what are my alternatives? I have considered the alternative of minimizing myself and falling into the flow. It is so easy to let the world hold the locus, but this can’t be right either. I can do so much if I apply myself and if I work hard; however, I have already set myself up to have a beautiful life if I lean into the flow. Following my intuition, not worrying, and letting honesty guide me—strange that this feels selfish.

I happened to be watching the 1971 movie Duel with my mother the other day on vacation. As I was falling asleep watching the movie, a quote stuck out to me: 

“Then one stupid thing happens—twenty, twenty-five minutes out of your whole life—and all the ropes that kept you hanging in there get cut loose. And it’s like, there you are, right back in the jungle again.” 

The end of this last semester took my mind on a rollercoaster of motivation, doubt, intensity, weakness, indestructibility, and basic inability. I felt like I had evolved beyond regression, but I quickly realized how close the past I am running away from (my jungle) lurks in my shadow. I must never again degrade myself to this level with unrealistic expectations. I must also not take my gifts for granted. Thread the line, Tristan.

I began listening to Modern Wisdom again occasionally. I felt like I did not have time to do so recently. Last night (5/18), I began listening to Modern Wisdom episode #780 with Tim Ferris. Having only listened to the first 20 minutes, I can see myself in Tim’s expression of ideas: “Effectiveness is what you do; efficiency is how you do something.” The drive, I would say for a lot of people, is to engage in productivity theater. To do things that can be passed on to yourself or to others as productive” (3:20). “How can I succeed even if I fail? Which of these will help me to develop or deepen skills, develop or deepen relationships the most? Even if they fail by external metrics, I will bias towards choosing that project. (6:30) “I am more of a generalist. I’m attempting to be the only, not the best” (11:00). All three of these thoughts resonate with me. I might not have put them into words, but I am very familiar with each. I have, on multiple occasions, related a similar thought about productivity and “efficiency.” I make many decisions based on what I can learn from the process, and I relate to his self-observation of being a generalist.

I also had an idea for an analogy while driving the other day. People seem to form packs—small lines of cars following each other even when there is no traffic. I’m sure that this has a name, but I would call it something like “highway herding” or “line chaining.” Maybe people follow this pattern because they are more comfortable with being behind someone else, maybe they are not in much of a rush, or maybe they are afraid of the consequences of being caught speeding. Everyone picks their lane, and I think the lane that people choose can be linked to the state of the person and the risk-taking behavior of the driver. Do you take the slow lane? Driving is very dangerous. Do you take the fast lane? Do you speed past others with determination or relax with the pack? There are many important things to do that are not driving. Either way, what is your destination, and why are you on the road?

Finally, for this week, I have been reflecting on my diet and weight journey. I had originally focused on weight loss for a 10-mile race and not being overweight. I ultimately hit a point where I was malnourishing myself, and I think that my stress returned me to the other end of overeating or eating too much of certain foods. I still have yet to find what is best for my body, and I think it has affected my sleep on both ends. I will be continuing this journey and the experimentation process. I aim to eat more whole foods and increase my weekly running mileage.

This is it for this week. This has been Tristan. It always will be Tristan. Bye to you!

There’s this old feeling returning to me again as my schedule allows me free time again. I worked so hard the past year that I am entirely burned out. I started out feeling invincible, and as I’ve gotten closer to the end of this semester, in many ways, I’ve been broken: my motivation, my personality, my health, and my perception of the future. The feeling I am talking about is the feeling of not wanting to do anything that I reach when I can no longer focus on studying, and simple pleasures like watching shows bore me. In those moments, although the reality might be different, I just want everything to pause. In those times, I can take very little, and I want nothing. I thought I had escaped this feeling, but I must be mortal. Splintered is a good word to describe how I feel. The sense of weakness makes me weaker.

Chapter 79 of “Elon Musk,” “I decided I would rather be burned out than bored.”

I just completed the most difficult season of my life—yes, I’m extatic! I want to rule the world. Let’s see if I am made of the material.

I am going on a vacation! Yes, it is party time. I am turning the big 21! (Don’t worry, I do not drink.) I just want to learn how to relax so that I can be my best when I get back. Earlier this week, I was thinking about how I had rationalized the lack of pleasure in my life to be without major negative consequence to my productivity. Obviously, the less time we spend doing one thing, the more time there is to do another, in this case, work. What I didn’t factor in was motivation or hope for the future. If every day feels like continuous work, not enjoyable work at that, motivation quickly dissipates. This has led me to have the classic burnout symptoms. This is also very concerning because it has distanced me from being able to see the future that originally ignited my work in the first place. If I relentlessly push myself to the point that I can’t even see a desirable future for myself, how can I even begin to be motivated by all of the good that I can do for others through my actions? A large part of my motivation comes from a long-term future and from life, like the lives of my future children, which I have the ability to dramatically change now. Burnout breaks the chain that connects me to these motivators, leading me to question why I even began in the first place. I am not at the point where I have frequent reminders of my success; my dreams are still in their featile stage, so I have to maintain my evergy effectively and carefully. (I wrote this earlier in the week, but this is no longer true.) If I can continue to push towards my goals, everything that I have done will shine brighter. Let’s see if a weekend away will allow me to relax my nerves, unknot the driving anxiety in my stomach, and fade the persistent shadow beneath my eyes.

My random thoughts this week:

• Is intelligence the thoughts, the actions, or the interaction between the mind and the world?
• There will always be an excuse, even for heinous acts. There will always be a celebration to excuse a break, a hardship to excuse a wrong, and an idea to justify another.
• If it tastes good and is in an unprocessed form, in proportion, it is good, yes?
• The human body always prioritizes the short- to mid-term over the long term.
• Living in a sterile environment weakens the body to the pathogenic external.

The rest of this post is written by the Tristan who has been given acceptance to university and is on vacation. Now, let’s cut to the new me. Nothing has physically changed. Well, not really, but I have been afforded the opportunity to live a dream—if nothing else, my perspective will be forever changed.

I have always felt a grander meaning, and I am fortunate enough to be given the ability to give this world everything that I have. I am writing this paragraph on May 11th, my 21st birthday. My life is wonderful. I mentioned that “I want to rule the world.” Well, the red carpet has been laid at my feet. The real work begins now. It is time to once again reimagine myself, edge out my weakness, and open my heart. This is the time for wonder, for challenge, and for immense learning. This is the time that I write my name in the book. I will write my name as “the beyond exceptional man.” These words ring themselves into the stone of my mind’s untold place, and now the world will be given a preview. This is my life, and I am born again!

I am going to get back to my vacation. I was so distracted that I am posting this a day late. Maybe that is okay. The purpose of this vacation was for me to unwind and relax. I have discovered, as I am writing for my blog now, that I am not good at turning my brain off—a gift and a curse. I hope everyone had a good Mother’s Day weekend. I am going to enjoy breakfast with my mother. 

Thank you all! This has been Tristan. It will always be Tristan! Bye bye.

I have been having too many dreams. If they were not so personal, I might describe them (Would you believe me if I said that I end up describing them later?), but I have noticed a theme—loneliness. My dreams are often an expression of interpersonal relationships. I have always found it more difficult than most to associate myself among the group. Beyond that, intimate relationships, like the ones with whom I love most, remain somewhat mystifying. Who I am makes me awkward in many ways, but I know that I just try too hard. Experience and exposure. Do you want to be my friend?

Pushing the whole personal aspects of the idea above, there is a girl that I crushed on for too long that reappears in my dreams when my subconscious is weakest. I know that these types of dreams are common. What is interesting is that I no longer know the girl who is central to this fantasy. My subconscious has used my past emotions for this girl to craft a person that never existed. This dream girl represents an emotion more than it represents a person, yet there still exists an identity. Even in a dream, there is a distinct familiarity—a loop that I guess I have not severed despite my best efforts. Emotional attachment is scary.

I am bringing up these thoughts not because I have noticed that with the increase in calories (and increase in weight), a reduction of stress, a modification in mindset, and the perception of more free time, there has been a change in my hormonal expression. I have been focused exclusively on my goals this past year, and in response, my body underwent some form of dormancy. I am interested in what my testosterone levels are now compared to 6 months ago. I will have to get this tested. In addition to the huge diet shift, mental state has an incredible physical expression. The mind-body connection. The mind-body connection!

I have been reflecting on an idea repeatedly mentioned in Elon Musk’s biography: innovation is not a passive process. I am thinking about the importance of those within our society who are willing to work unreasonably in order to achieve a goal. As we can see with Elon, it only takes one man’s ambition to unite the work of thousands towards innovation and evolution. One might argue that humans living for the sake of living and not growing makes life’s meaning limited to superficial pleasure. Some might argue religious or spiritual meanings, but if we only live to live and, as a society, we do not progress, what is it all for? Does the present make all other times irrelevant?

Chapter 67 of Elon Musk by Walter Isaacson: “…It takes a toll. You can’t be in a constant fight for survival, always in adrenaline mode, and not have it hurt you. But there is something else that I have found this year: fighting to survive keeps you going for quite a while. When you are no longer in a ‘survive or die’ mode, it is not that easy to get motivated every day.”

I have found the same thing this past year. It is hard to find a balance between highly efficient output and health—the solutions I have found to high output and meaningful work are a poison to health. If I have been going at 100%, I am going to try 80% and see how I feel.

Chapter 69 of “Elon Musk” by Walter Isaacson: I really connected to the conversations about the gamification of life. I am particularly interested in exploring more about the relationship between empathy and success (social and business). The idea of treating life like a game and becoming numb to the losses is most definitely something that I have experienced. I second that the idea is legitimate, but I am still uncertain about the consequences of living such a callous life in pursuit of success.

Before I went to sleep on Friday, I was struck by the fear that the stress, as painful as it is, is what I chase—that I find comfort in the pain. I am not yet convinced that this is true, but I believe that there is truth in it. I really dread stress; however, I very much enjoy competition, completion, and success. I must not equate suffering with quality work, but quality work often does take sacrifice.

I was just reflecting on all the lessons that I have learned this year, such as recognizing that the tools that I buy are only temporary and that things are made to be worn. I have a tendency to go overboard and put too much time, money, or energy into maintaining perfection for the smallest of things. Often, this results in poor outcomes from wasted time or fixation in the wrong areas.

I feel like I have so much of the world figured out, but I know that that cannot be true.

A few chapters back in the biography, they also mentioned AI robots and universal income. I expressed it in a blog post a few weeks ago: Universal income can for sure work; there is no logistical reason that it should not, but it defies the structure of the capitalist idea. We already have high levels of automation, but the gains from that efficiency are not distributed evenly. The gains from robots can just as easily be absorbed by the top 10%, as have most economic innovations. What will make robots any different? Will they push us over the ledge, forcing change?

I have brought up the idea of the multiverse and/or the cyclic universe theory. As irrational as it might sound, I fear that if my future leads me to live an unsatisfactory life, I will be doomed to repeat the life, unknowingly, for eternity. This could be the heaven and hell that we all fear so much. Maybe the good and bad that we did in the past is the punishment in the inevitable future of our universe’s repeated birth and death. The other option is that there are multiple, if not infinite, outcomes. My concern is that even if that is true, the proof (if my awareness is proof) of the present reality existing infinitely increases the likelihood of this or a similar future existing. Those similar futures could be improvements, but that set of infinity will probabilistically be an average of this one, some better and some worse. For that reason (again, irrationally), this is why I want to live my best life.

I had a great idea just now. Picture this: humans (likely some very distant evolution of humans, maybe AI or some kind of impossibly imaginable symbiosis of machine and biology that have achieved absolute mastery over our physical world) plan to outlive the collapse of the universe, disrupting the whole flow of the cyclic system (this would only work if the system produced variability to allow the possibility of life overcoming their domain). We could explore the dimension of time, all sorts of temporal paradoxes, free will, and religion. We might question the transcendence over the simulation, moral becoming god, and the meaning of our universe, which might be greater than anything existing inside our universe can imagine. Can we transcend dimensions?

This is just an idea. A fun idea, but an idea that would take a lot of work.
To future me: If you are reading this, that means that you have made it to a point where you are eager to reflect—this is good. I want to remind you about how confused, ambitious, and novel your eyes were at this time. I am completing your second semester of college. You remember the struggle of this time, don’t you? Time and experience have forever changed how you view me, but I exist. I am not only you, but I exist as real as you, only a dimension away. Does controlling for time control for three-dimensional space? That sounds like some kind of Einstein 4th-dimensional calculus. I recognize that last sentence as both intelligent and foolish. Tell our daughter, the one that only lives in my mind, that you love her. Yes, you are crazy. Did you, for a moment, believe otherwise? Forward!

On my drive home, I was really enjoying my retro Japanese music. I am not able to understand most of the lyrics at this point in time, but I could imagine a future where I fall in love with some exploration of culture, such as Japanese music. I have struggled to identify something that maximizes my ability. I could be many things, but I feel like if I limit myself to my ambition, I might cut myself short of my potential. But I had the idea that this potential-to-skill line is intercepted by love for a subject. If our love for a subject is very high, our potential for this work will be much greater than even something that we do not love but have the skill to accomplish. This is obvious in certain hypothetical situations. If I can understand high-level math but hate the process, I would be incentivized to avoid a career in mathematics. One of the great freedoms given to me is the ability to choose something that I am both skilled at and passionate about. I was just expressing how this freedom seems paralyzing at times because decisions, especially decisions about a life career, can be difficult. However, I have found comfort in the idea that I do not have to make the decision based on skill alone. If I find something that I love, the decision might be made for me. In many ways, I might be looking for the wrong thing—as cliche as it sounds, love might reveal the answer I have been searching for all along.

My hypothetical above was derived from real experience—I have always been okay at math, and I can grasp concepts well. Because of this, as a young child, I always said that I would be an engineer. While the life of an engineer still has some appeal to me, I never found the zeal for numbers like I find in the more obscure. By this, I mean that I just do not enjoy computation. This is unfortunate because I am inspired by the relationship between math and our physical world. Math is in many ways very interesting to me, but at the same time, I find the process of doing computational work draining. There is a beautiful world in mathematics that might literally simplify the universe, and I can understand why one might dedicate their life to a pursuit such as this, but given one life, I am forced to explore other domains. How cool is it to hear the universe, speak with the stars, and touch the unimaginably finite? The mock language of the gods.

I was thinking today about the value of my time and my work. I am not using this source today, but I will leave it here for a future conversation.

Hobson, John A. “The Subjective and the Objective View of Distribution.” The Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, vol. 4, 1893, pp. 42–67. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/1009037. Accessed 24 Apr. 2024.

My pen stopped writing. At first, I thought that I had maybe been holding it wrong or writing at a weird angle, but not; I had used all of the ink in the pen. This is the first time I have ever experienced a pen running out of ink. Is this a secret signal for adulthood? A right of passage. It is only a pen, but it does have significance that I have written enough words with one pen long enough for it to run out of ink. It signifies consistency, a repetition, that I have repeatedly experienced this past year’s time, unlike anything that I ever experienced in the former 20 years of my life.

I think that a large portion of my confidence is genuine, but I also think that I hit my high of confidence built on an ego built on the perception of everything that I was doing. Although this ego means nothing, it has artificially propped up my confidence, so any dent in my ego shatters me. I hate being so fragile, but I guess in the pursuit of my ambition, I required an amount of confidence that I was unable to cultivate naturally and genuinely in the time that I was given. My ego served its purpose at the time. Now, I must return to that high through the construction of something more tangible than the self-perception and numbers that have fueled me the past 8 months. It is corrosive. The stress is chronic, and this solution is not withstanding.

Some of my takeaways and what I will be presenting about my Youth and Community Studies (YCS) Fellows program.

This program has…

• Opened my mind to my belonging at ACC and UT. 

I have found a lot of value in being told that I belong, but being able to actively participate with a group of peers on campus and work alongside faculty substantiates the meaning.

• Given me a new perspective on vulnerability.

I have found that the world appeals to the illusion of perfection and strength. As someone who holds himself to a high level of ambition, I have often confused vulnerability for weakness. I will do remarkable things, but I must not forget that I am but a man among men.

• Reminded me of the value of my voice.

I must not forget that when I am a part of any group or community, my voice has value. Oftentimes, my ideas and motivations are shared among those that surround me—There are others waiting to be helped, and even more waiting to help me if I am bold enough to speak.

• Given me tools and ideas for growth.

Restorative practices—group communication and listening—have revealed themselves to me as valuable tools that I can apply in future professional settings, with family, and alongside those that make up the many communities that I maintain membership in. In addition to working within the UTA campus, I have also been able to form connections here that give me something tangible. This moment is a part of my journey, as it is, in some way, also yours. Whether I am a UT student or not, I am now a part of this community, and I have learned the power of networking. I believe that we have all been brought here today for some purpose. How the future is bound, I do not know; however, feeling this moment gives me hope. Thank you all for sharing some time with me.

I have always felt connected to the world; whether it be through botany, cooking, the physical sciences, health, or human nature, there is something intuitive. I need to explore, relate, and develop my skills.

俳句 – はいく – haiku

For the unanswered

Sincerity give witness

Opportunity

When questioning all

Standing independently

The answer is yours

Broken and damaged

What is presented to you

Opportunity

The future is ours

Continue uncertainly

Happiness is now

Work and strategy

Stress is of the abhorrent

Opportunity

This week was, well… this week. This has been Tristan. It will always be Tristan. I will catch you all next week! Bye!

Mastication might be the remedy to global obesity. 

I recognize how ridiculous this sounds, but I do believe that the culture around the physical act of eating in America is largely to blame for our weight epidemic. Although this issue I really believe is a lack of education and ignorance towards health that too many cling to as a defense towards living their comforting calorie realities.

I believe that with a simple nutrition education and an understanding of digestion, many people would be much better equipped to maintain a healthy lifestyle. This education must start with healthy food choices, but it does not end until we put down the fork.

Why does no one teach us in our 12 years of education how to read a nutrition label, the importance of balance in diet, or the effects food has on every aspect of our physical, social, and mental lives? I’m not one to believe in conspiracy, but if it seems like there are some in favor of a disease-prone populace. Why, when I discover information about how to take care of myself, do I feel like I have been gatekept from it most of my young life? Why do my parents not know the basics of food–something they interact with every day? It is either a conspiracy of greed or ignorance that has been foolishly appropriated throughout our global social atmosphere… This is how I see it from my perspective. This self-destruction of the individual magnifies to affect our communities, our future, and, might I be patriotic, the pride of our nation. This is more than that, though; this is a global issue. This is an issue that requires real work—much more than words.

Maybe food is simple; food is simple. The issue is that, as a species, we are creative and never satisfied; however, we know what is best: food that is closest to its purest source. Dare I say natural—a word that has seemingly lost meaning? Determining what foods fall into this category should be simple, and it should be easily accessible… That might have been the case more or less 50 years ago, but that is far from reality now.

“Chew your food! Do you even taste it?” I have been told this many times. Only as a 20-year-old human have I taken the time.

Work lunches do not offer enough time to eat. 30 minutes to prepare a plate, sit down, eat, and then clean up is not enough. 

Rush as few meals as possible. Savor it, if only for today…

My theories on mastication benefits:

Psychologically, we might be wired to feel full faster if we have more time to slowly eat it. Historically, if we were eating fast, that would mean that food was bountiful (like it always is now in developed countries), but back before grocery stores and calorie abundance, we wanted to pack away as many calories in those fast meals. When we eat slower, we might be telling our bodies that we do not have much. I believe that there is some correlation between the use of our mastication muscles and fullness, or at least our mental satiety.

Physical: there is more time for the food to pass into the stomach; the food is mixing with more saliva, increasing the volume; and the nutrients will be exposed faster due to the digestive enzymes in the saliva and the increased surface area created from extensive chewing.

Digestive: this focused attention to the food at the beginning of the process will make it easier for the rest of the digestive system to execute its function, possibly decreasing irritation and stress put on the other organs.

Fullness of stomach: there is more time for the stomach to sense the food and more time for fluids to mix, expanding the stomach.

Dilution: mixing the food with saliva and water increases the absorption of nutrients, controls the absorption rate (GI), and modifies the taste of the food to limit continued craving.

Time: chewing slows down the whole process. If you take half size bites and chew twice as much, it takes four times as long to eat a meal. By the time you are done with a healthy serving, you will not want to chew anymore, the food that you started with will have settled a bit, and you will be ready to move on to the next task.

Remember that all of the above are my theories! Unfounded Ideas.

After a quick 10 minutes of research, I will cite two sources that support some of my ideas:

“Two studies conducted in 2014 indicate that chewing thoroughly may be an effective strategy to reduce food intake. Both studies first established a baseline chewing rate for each participant. Participants were later asked to attend three lunches where they were instructed to maintain their baseline chew rate, increase chews by 150 percent, or increase chews by 200 percent. This means that a participant with an average chew rate of 10 would chew 25 times in the 150 percent increase condition and 30 times in the 200 percent increase condition. When the number of chews increased, the amount of food consumed decreased significantly in younger adults. Researchers concluded that increasing the number of chews before swallowing may be an effective behavioral strategy to reduce food intake and aid weight management” (Mulholland).

Several studies have reported an association between eating speed and cardiometabolic risk factors. In a recent randomized controlled trial, consuming a meal in 10 minutes caused significantly higher blood sugar spikes in healthy young women than consuming the same meal in 20 minutes. High blood sugar levels increase risk for type 2 diabetes. (“Slow and Steady Wins the Waist.”)

I wish I had more time this week to dive into this, but I will let you chew on this for now, and we can come back later for more.

Additionally,

I had this idea of a work hierarchy and categorization:

First, the four types of work: physical, organization, assistance, or thinker. I personally struggle to find satisfaction in being an organizer; I am too proud and ambitious to be an assistant; and I have not yet harnessed the determination to be an independent thinker.

We have the dejects, the maintainers, the organizers/optimizers, the specialized maintainers, the thinkers, the forgers, and the visionaries/revolutionizers.

The dejects are those that contribute a net negative to society, feeding off of the generosity of others for their survival. They can ascend, but they currently exist as a burden.

The maintainers are mostly people in unskilled, low-skilled, or trade professions—they do most of the work on the ground, usually following the command of another.

Organizers are people in a diverse range of professions—they can help at any level. They exist to improve the productivity and effectiveness of others. They also exist to condense data created by all types.

Specialized maintainers are the people at or near the top of the maintainer hierarchy. They usually have advanced education, experience, or skill in their field, but they are still subservient to others.

Thinkers, forgers, and visionaries are rarely exclusive to one another.

Thinkers are those who go out into the world and consistently add new, original information to the well of human knowledge. These are the artists, explorers, the scientists, and the risk-takers.

The forgers are those that work to enact substantial changes to their communities and the structure of those communities. These are the people who move the world forward.

Visionaries are those who have such exceptional ability to innovate and reform that they quickly ascend toward the top of the hierarchy despite the rejection of their often radical ideas.

This is all that I have for you today. I might come back to this hierarchy, and I will likely come back to eating habits another day.

It has been Tristan. It always will be Tristan, signing off. Bye!

Citation

Mulholland, Lindsay M. “A Guide to CHEWING.” Alive: Canada’s Natural Health & Wellness Magazine, no. 388, Feb. 2015, pp. 75–79. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=shib&db=awh&AN=102388435&site=ehost-live&scope=site.

“Slow and Steady Wins the Waist.” Tufts University Health & Nutrition Letter, vol. 39, no. 9, Sept. 2021, p. 3. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=shib&db=awh&AN=151936136&site=ehost-live&scope=site.

Aging:

With all that we know about the body presently and all of the medical science that we have now, I do not believe it is even a stretch to say that the first person to live to 150 is alive today. Be it, with current technology, they likely will be connected to a dozen machines and be senile, but they will be “alive.” The greatest complexity with aging that I perceive, from my knowledge and point of view, is that aging is not one symptom but the interaction between all the trillions of cells within the body. Unless we can simultaneously communicate with every cell, I do not think one remedy will cure aging. From my understanding, it is most likely that we will have to overcome multiple layers of system failures. We might be able to preserve the heart for 300 years, but if the mind goes at 120 years, that becomes the bottleneck. We will constantly be combating the weakest link until we can perpetuate every system in the body. Along the way, hundreds of unknowns will appear. My greatest concern has to do with the longevity of the mind and central nervous system.

I believe the first person to live to 200 will be born in the 21st century, if they are not already alive. I find it philosophically interesting to think about extending life expectancy: What does an increased life span do to the value of life? Will it ever be enough? Might it one day be too much?

I think that we are far enough in our science to know that it is not a question of if but when. I apologize that I am not citing a source today; this is my intuition. If we, as a species, can work together and survive the next millennia, we might one day dominate the universe. It might take another 1000 years to end aging, but if we can hold out till then, I believe that an unimaginable world exists for its inhabitants. The generation that discovers the technology that unlocks immortality will be presented with societal issues that present new existential risks. What wouldn’t many do to live forever? Maybe it is better if we slow down, but this is an unreasonable request.

Unless the progress towards discovery is gradual, which it is unlikely to be, wars will be fought over health technology, and there will be an even greater disparity between the poor and elite—an extreme social complex with nearly infinite unknown order effects. 

In relation to improving life span, as AI and gene editing technologies improve, we are in for a new world of complex ethical questions. If we could only learn to be more proactive instead of reactive, we might all benefit, but I fear that this skill is not innately wired into our survival. Humans have lived for thousands of years by thinking small. Within two generations, we have expanded from local to universal—biology cannot be expected to maintain pace. It appears that our world is in a constant battle with the past, so we never properly prepare for the future. If we are too fragile and stubborn to see the real dangers that lie just out of view, the technological advancements of the 21st century will likely end us. I will not be cynical, however, because I know that unimaginable solutions will also be presented. I am concerned because the future holds problems that are magnitudes greater than any prior human history, on a global scale. I am baffled that we live in a world where some are also striving for interplanetary colonization, immortality, and advanced AI, and others are still unwillingly living without electricity or clean water. Might we be getting ahead of ourselves, or must these disparities coexist?

I want to pose some ethical questions:

What do you do when cybernetic implantations give those who have them an advantage?

How do you rate the value of life when humans can theoretically live forever?

Who do we give power to in the event of an apocalypse?

Are we willing to sacrifice freedoms for longevity?

If you could live forever but none of your current friends or family could, would you?

What would you give or take from yourself or another for the chance at living eternally?

This video was recommended to me after I began the post this week, but it is directly related to the conversation here today if you want more: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqlPU1CKEpI

I do not know if this informal conversation is in any way beneficial, but I find it interesting to speculate. I can guarantee you that I will one day take one of these topics and dive deep into the hard science to not only bring up the ideas but to come to something new!

Additionally,

“Good decisions are not always rational. Sometimes you have to choose between being happy and being right” (Housel). This idea goes back to my conflict between going to the gym for the benefits and for pleasure in my last post. I really enjoyed how Housel organized this thought. Additionally, although I have heard versions of it previously, the prior thought about setting expectations was very meaningful to me.

Taking ideas from “The Psychology of Money” by Morgan Housel and “Hustle Harder, Hustle Smarter” by Curtis Jackson, it appears that “freedom” is the objective. In both audio books, the writers stress that they work for “freedom.” 

What I have learned from my own experience is that the goal of success should be to consistently maintain the bar as high above 1.0 as possible. It is the system of growth from learning, self-critique, pushing through doubt, and maintaining sights on a goal that are required to “hustle,” as it is put in “Hustle Harder, Hustle Smarter.” I believe that most people just hover around 1, becoming complacent and dipping down in comfortable times and rising higher in desperate times. Consistently maintaining this level and improving along the way is the path to success in almost any domain. While I have yet to prove “success,” it all seems so clear. 

Though life cannot be represented by a simple math equation, if we can find a way to give 10% more than 1, in 10 years we will be more than 2.5 times our baseline. As a simplified example, if you currently work 40 hours a week (I recognize that few people actually work only 40 hours a week), 10% is just under 35 minutes a day. What I am getting at is that half an hour a day more can result in a compounding effect of two times returns over 10 years… if we stay consistent. This math is used in books like “Atomic Habits” by James Clear, and honestly, I do not believe equations represent the real world well, but the idea of exponential growth is real—if nothing else, I have experienced it work with money and skill acquisition.

Whoever decided to release the cyber truck is a genius. I just saw my second one “in the wild”‘ today, and well… I am talking about it now. It is so absurd. If Tesla releases a second edition that is even more absurd, I think it would be a flop, but the first serves its purpose alone as an attention grabber. It is also reframing public perception so perfectly, in line with what I gather is one of Tesla’s missions—bring us into the future. “Estrangement,” is a term I learned this year in my science fiction English class, catches our attention because it breaks our expectations. It is attention-grabbing… maybe not for all of the right reasons—but effective nonetheless. Now, if Tesla releases a 2.0 that is anything less, it will already be normalized. A vehicle that might have been absurd on its own will now be ordinary when put into the same world as the cyber truck. I am assuming that this is the intention, or poor design turned good; it is a genius marketing strategy, and it aligns with the innovative extremeness that I perceive from Tesla.

What are the simple freedoms that we take for granted in the United States that, if we took a second to appreciate, we might be happier? 

I am going to make a quick list:

1. Listening to your favorite music when working—at a good volume (it doesn’t have to be a whisper)
2. Ability to do routine tasks outside of our “work space”—we can check emails anywhere.
3. Freedom to learn about any subject and the social encouragement to become educated
4. Ability to order or make any cuisine with relative ease—diverse food options.

I will have to add more to this list as I recognize more. Please share any that you think of.

This list reminds me of a list in Modern Wisdom episode #762. It is unrelated, but it is about 1:05:00 if you are interested.

That is all that I have for this week. I have plans to talk about my recent experience and observations with chewing more in next week’s post.

This has been Tristan; it always will be Tristan! Thank you all. Bye!

Being clean vs. being disorganized. The world seeks entropy, so if you have everything in perfect order, I see that you have either already made it to a successful point or you are boring. Maybe you are both. I now take pride in my surroundings having a touch of chaos. Do not confuse chaos with disorganization. I am both obsessive and random. I know where everything is, but my room is not sterile. Ideally, I believe that there is a time and place for both perfect uniformity and organized chaos—a yen and yang of sorts. I see my environment as a symbol of my future success because it represents how my mind works. My mind is not limited to the conventional, the standard expectation, or the linear. In the future, when I have multiple rooms that I can call mine, I will have a sterile, “perfect” bedroom, but there is something nice about having a busy office space. Maybe the garbage makes my room feel less empty and lonely—it is inspiring. Intrusive but representative of the work that is done here.

Recently, I have been conflicted by the idea of going to the gym every day and just going when I feel like it. If I make it an “everyday” habit, I will be more consistent, but that also means I will go on days that I probably should not. If I force it, I will no longer do it for the sake of doing it, but I can then reap the benefits. I take a genuine pleasure in my time at the gym. I almost feel guilty sometimes for prioritizing it over other tasks. It is an everyday habit, and I fear that it will morph into something I do because “I should do it,” not because it is what is best for me. What is the middle ground?

Setting a schedule ensures that certain tasks will be prioritized. Like being vegan, making commitments removes entropy, removing randomness, but routine is also restrictive. It is not without sacrifice. I guess we must always choose between x and y. We must choose the sacrifice.

I am listening to “The Psychology of Money” by Morgan Housel. Chapter 2, “Luck and Risk,” very much capture where I feel like I am right now. I am taking a substantial risk by applying to competing schools, but risk is a probability. The more risks taken, the more chances there are for opportunities. I learned in my “introduction to engineering course” in high school (about 6 years ago) that landing heads does not make the probability of landing tails any greater on the next flip, yet what are the chances of only getting 400 tails out of 1000 flips? Statistically, it’s almost an impossibility. I’ll have to do the math later. Using this logic, if I can maintain my output, I am likely to eventually hit green. 4/10 is likely. 400/1000 is almost impossible—just keep flipping!

Here is a fun calculator to play around with: https://www.omnicalculator.com/statistics/coin-flip-probability

With this calculator, any combination of 462 or fewer heads in a thousand flips is already less than a percent, and it goes down exponentially. Probability is fun.

One of the most fascinating real-world examples of entropy is happening right now. We are now experiencing possibly the greatest population that this earth will ever inhabit. We spiked our growth, and now, as a result of many factors working in combination, it will regress. In my arbitrary prediction, within the next century, AI and robots will assume the role of at least 70% of the jobs currently being occupied by humans. This is not a bold statement, in my opinion. I think I am actually being conservative. Because of this increase in automation, the economy will maintain its required work regardless. As usual, it will take a couple of generations for the new technology to be normalized, but the technology exists now, so we do not have very long. The work is not my personal concern. My concern is that I do not believe that our economy can grow if we, as a species, are not. What happens to the economy when the work is done by something that is not being paid for? Maybe we could reference times of great slavery, but in those times, there was also great population growth and new demand. This is going to be at least a little different. 

I am also interested to see how the monopolies that already exist will transition into this unknown landscape for capitalism. We are reaching a point where humans do not need to do work for our needs to be met. When we no longer require workers in factories, servers in restaurants, and administration in offices, who will receive the rewards? Companies? Taxes will require a new meaning, but that is communism… Will the average man be given a “capitalism stipend,” only required to work if he desires more than minimum wage living? Our economy (in the U.S. and globally) is going to experience something new before the 22nd century. It is nearly impossible to predict the next decade, let alone the next century, but we will soon be facing some serious economic and political hardship if we continue blindly. What I fear is that we have already crossed over the “this works” line for capitalism. Think for a moment: We already have technology that allows us to do 10 times the amount of work for the same human effort as it did 200 years ago. This number is made up, but it is the idea that is important. Where does all of this profit from efficiency go? I guess the question now is, “Is the average person working as much as people did 200 years ago?” If the answer is yes, I would say that the cause is the profits absorbed by the top 1%. At what point do we realize that this multiplier can only go so far until the system collapses? It has been a fun 200 years, but the wealth distribution will only continue to diverge until only the top 1% remain. The population is already beginning to decrease, and soon (within the next century), robots and AI will replace the need for humans at all. Natural selection, maybe? Is this a pill that you are willing to swallow? The End of Work Dilemma: What do we do in a capitalist system when the efficiency of automation gets so high that humans are no longer ideal for physical or knowledge work? Human crafts might always have some novelty. Right now, in our superficial world, handmade still means something. I will leave this idea here for now.

I have been thinking about how much control I really have over my decisions. I have realized that there are a few internal incidents that would derail me. If free will exists, there are still only a handful of reasonable choices that I have. Going back to probability, technically, a coin can land on its side, but this is so unlikely to happen that we decided to ignore it. I am bound by my beliefs, the experiences of my past, and the goals of my future. Because of these, there are only a few options that my mind will allow me to choose from. Maybe less logical, less stable, desperate people might have more rash decisions, but I have worked for some stability in my decisions—I have worked to resist entropy. I think rationality is fundamental to the survival of animals—we require some kind of stimulus or motive to act in a particular way. Because of this, I do not believe that free will could ever fully exist because, while the options might theoretically exist, only a few will ever be chosen. Going off on a tangent, I only believe that free will might exist because of a possible quantum irregularity (I do not know what I am talking about, but I know if there is no irregularity, every event would be calculable, therefore predetermined). Going back to the “realistic will,” it might be broken down into percentages. Something like the Earth’s atmosphere composition: 70% likelyhood to choose A, 20% B, and 10% for all the infinite options that remain. Yes, you could go and buy five watermelons tomorrow, but you are unlikely to do that above something else because the incentives are low. This is my idea of probabilistic or realistic free will. This fits the theme this week because I believe, like the universe, people tend towards the path of least resistance. This idea rules out free will, but it might be supportive of determinism.

Finally, related to the idea above, I wanted to talk about the scariness of entropy in my own life. Complacency leads to entropy in my own life. I have realized that there are few things that will lead me astray in one day, but not maintaining my routines and carelessly allowing them to fall off one by one might lead me backwards. It is so much easier to maintain a habit than to restart a new one, but we also must adapt our habits to grow and meet our needs at some point, no? How fast can the human mind really adapt? I think I am still adapting to information I gained months ago, at least. Can adaptation be forced? Does stress inspire adaptation or inhibit it?

I had an “additionally” section, but it is already time to go to sleep. I will save that for next week.

It has been Tristan. It always will be Tristan. Bye!

The idea for this week was brought to my attention by one of my role models and a friend. He challenged me to ask more questions last week, and because I have learned so much from the process, I am challenging you: go ask your boss what it would take to get a raise; ask your partner where they see the relationship in 10 years; ask your local business if you can promote your local business there; ask your neighbor if they would like to go for coffee. After my introduction to the idea and realization of the way that asking the right questions might improve my life, the podcast episode that I listened to last week, Modern Wisdom #761, emphasized this idea further. You should listen to the whole podcast, but around the first and last 15 minutes of this episode, they talk about asking questions. 

This is very relevant to my life because right now is the first time in my life that I’ve ever had any consistent confidence in myself. Maybe this is an excuse, but I do believe that the power of questions increases with one’s power to act; I do not think that asking more questions would have helped me as much four years ago as it will now because action, not information, is what I needed most then. Thinking of it like a new business (not that I am a business expert or look to pretend to be one): yes, there are a lot of unknowns when first starting a business, but one cannot ask for feedback on a product before they even have an idea. What I am trying to say is that I think we need a starting point to attach our question.

I am learning that being able to ask questions is almost like a superpower. Effective communication is a superpower. I spoke about manipulation recently, and what makes manipulation powerful is the ability to lead others in the direction that you want. Sometimes, people do not need to be “coerced” into the direction that we want them to go. Sometimes, all it takes is one question. One might argue that a question can be a form of manipulation, but I think this comes with the intention behind the question. Also, it goes back to the line between persuasion and manipulation; it is like the line between advertisement and propaganda—extremes on the same spectrum. It can be hard to draw a line, especially without a specific context.

I think the simplicity of this idea leads many to be ignorant of their inability. Doing one full-range-of-motion squat is a simple task, but if someone has not done one in many years, they might not have the strength or agility to perform the exercise correctly. It seems simple: “Of course I can ask the question… if I need to.” However, if I gave you 5 minutes to think about the questions looming on your mind, would you generate at least ten meaningful questions to ask today? Questions to ask your partner, your boss, your friend, your father, yourself… How will you know if you do not ask? How much do these unknowns weigh down your subconscious, compound your uncertainty, limit your potential? Waiting to ask a question is like waiting for your car to run out of gas instead of checking your miles. Yes, sometimes a simple glance down can be hard. Gas is not cheap… However, neither is a weekly tow. Asking is so simple, yet I also understand that rejection is a unique pain. Luckily, it gets easier with exposure. If we could only see the acceptance before we applied, we might not fear the pain of a no. It is so easy to craft a story of how someone might retaliate or all the things that might go wrong, but our minds often fail to predict any future reality because we are emotionally based and computationally limited. And, even if everything goes horribly, there is still something gained; there is still knowledge. The question now at least has some solution. Again, it is so easy to fear what might go wrong, but if we can only imagine or, for a second, get a glimpse into what extraordinary things might come from a yes, how would we reconsider? A friend told me that to be successful, you have to have a product or know how to sell. Selling is not only limited to business or making money; it is the foundation of communication; it is the sharing of ideas and the connection between minds. I still feel discomfort when asking difficult questions. Forgetting about the ones that I am unsure of, I even still find discomfort in asking challenging questions that I know that I should ask. I’m learning that my fear of inconveniencing or irritating others is 9/10 times an excuse, a projection of my inability. Questions often lead both parties to new knowledge. It is selfish not to ask the girl to dinner!

Additionally,

This past semester, I’ve really been struggling with balancing my perfectionist, 100% attitude with optimizing meaningful work. If, at the end of the day, I can get a 95%, still earn an A in the course, and instead use that extra time for the 5% to do 20% somewhere else, I might net more. The mental fatigue, like I explained, in “Productivity” when crudely defining percentages, is not linear as we approach 100. At some point, we’re giving exorbitant amounts of energy for minor returns. Realizing the stage that I’m at and where I’m applying myself currently, these major investments don’t compound back into major returns—this is the stage that I’m at. Although I believe striving for 100% is one of the traits that will lead me to the top, right now, I’m at the point where the last 5% is often forgotten.

I was just reflecting on one of my grade school crushes… I will connect this to the conversation this week…  For so long, I fantasized about some reality between the other person and myself. When I knew her, I know that I loved this girl, as much as a middle schooler can love a girl, but by staying in this fantasy and not projecting myself out into reality, I eventually found myself loving someone that I no longer knew. I began to hold feelings for someone that I had known in the past—for a person that did not exist and never could. By being an example of how bottling ideas and questions in the mind can be dangerous, this relates to the subject today. Questions are not only a tool to promote growth, but in many instances, they are required to maintain a healthy mental balance. Letting ideas fester unanswered is mentally corrosive. In this example, it led me to make mistakes, and I believe that it is a fuel that leads to many common regrettable actions.

In correlation, I am developing a “so what?” mindset. For example, I am thinking about my college application. If I do not get in, okay, so what? Maybe I asked the wrong question. Maybe I have more questions to ask. Maybe I am not supposed to be at that university. Maybe a mistake was made along the way. If I ask a genuine question and someone responds unexpectedly negatively, so what? I can only try my best; after that, what more can be asked of me? At best, we can only expect to have 100 years, so let’s just play! It is only a game, right? We give it such profound meaning because, to each of us, this life is what is most profound. We might try and transcend our lives with our living actions, but we all care first about ourselves, do we not? The symbol of Jesus, the perfect man, might be he who does not, but I challenge the existence of any man or woman that can, even for a moment, be altruistic in absolute purity. We should try and try hard, but we can only give our best. So what if we remain forever imperfect? If I fail for 30 years and then die, well, that was my hand, and I played it! Harsh, cruel, constrictive, most definitely! cynical, no! Listening to Modern Wisdom over the past year, I think it was Alex Hormozi that popularized the idea, at least in my mind, that everyone who hates you will die in time. So what if others object to your passion? Let’s just play hard and have some fun, no?

That is all I have for this week. It has been Tristan; It always will be Tristan! Goodbye!